


Golden sails and Blue sapphires

by orphan_account, ZheAwesomest



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: (not really) - Freeform, Ableist Language, Acephobic language, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Attempted Murder, Baroness Candy, Baroness Grenda, Blood and Gore, Caring for mytical creatures, Count Stanford Pines, Count Stanley Pines, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Human Bill Cipher, I'm so sorry, Implied Mpreg, Kidnapping, Knight Ghost-Eyes, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Marchioness Pacifica Northwest, Mpreg, Murder, Non-Consensual Kissing, Pirate Bill Cipher, Pirate Tad Strange, Prince Gideon Gleeful, Sea Monsters, Self-Hatred, Sexual Harassment, Sirens, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhappy Engagment, Viscount Dipper Pines, Viscountess Mable Pines, dealing with losing a limb, mass death (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:39:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZheAwesomest/pseuds/ZheAwesomest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Pines, formally known as "Viscount Matthew 'Dipper' Pines", was a content, tranquil 17 year old. He spent the days in complete comfort. He always read Shakespeare, solved complex riddles, or adventured in the enchanted forests that surrounded his great uncles' manor. This was his sanctuary after the loss of his parents, when he and his sister were 7.</p>
<p>Dipper's life was placid.</p>
<p>Untill he met the Prince...</p>
<p>Prince Gideon Gleeful, the most pompous, discourteous, and vulgar man Dipper had ever met, is now Dipper's betrothed...</p>
<p>And Dipper can do nothing to stop his own  wedding.<br/>_________________________________________________</p>
<p>Captain William "Bill" Cipher is the most feared pirate on the seven seas. He is known to attack the most well protected forts and make of with the valuables like magic.</p>
<p>He is bloodthirsty, power hungry, and doesn't take prisoners.</p>
<p>He will ALWAYS get what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A sad man's tale

* * *

Dipper sat in his study reading a hard covered, rust colored book about the supernatural creatures in the forests just outside the manor gardens. He was originally supposed to be listening to his Great Uncle Ford's lecture, but…. Eh who cares.

“Matthew Pines! Are you listening! Shut that book!”, the old grouch rattled

Dipper slowly, as slow as was humanly possible, closed his book and swiveled his head to look at Ford.

”I'm listening, gruncel dearest.” Dipper said with a little smirk.

Ford's eye's drilled caverns into Dipper's head.  
'If looks could kill', Dipper wondered

Ford returned to his rant, “The life of an aristocratic heir is not a simple, clean cut thing. Days of study and practice to give the appearance of pristine perfection are long and tiresome. Learning to socialize and negotiate are the top priority of these youths. After all, they are the future of sophistication and economic control. Every heir is trained to excellence and nothing below that. Surpassing the works of your sire is what is expected of you…..”

Returning to his book, Dipper thought about how his life wasn't always like this.

Originally, when Dipper and his twin sister arrived to their great uncles' manor they were under the care of 'Count Stanley Pines', better known as grunkle Stan to the twins.

They spent the days adventuring the forests and reading pure fiction. They never were scolded for being too loud or not completing their studies to complete perfection. They could learn to cook or they could play the maids' children. They could help the injured creatures in the forests or learn to weave fabric in the near by town. Those days were always bright and new. The sun never set on the twins' wonder.

And then, Great Uncle Ford returned from his year long expedition.

The sunlight the twins had was quickly shrunken to a weak flame and extinguished. Great Uncle Ford immediately took over the life of the twins claiming that Stan had "ill-prepared the twins" for their social rank.

The twins watched, as their adventure, their wonder was taken away and replaced with rule after rule. The maids' children were no longer playmates but examples of the future workers, multiple levels below the twins' social standing. There were no more trips to the forests and all fictional books were removed from the library.  
Instead of learning to cook or weave they were taught to master chess or how to work a business proposal in their favor.

Going into town was a thing of the past.  
The only thing the twins could look forward to was the occasional invitation to join another noble household for tea or the straight necked galas thrown just to show off wealth among other aristocrats. It was pointless peacocking to Dipper and useless stress too.

Dipper could never perform specific tasks as perfectly as his twin could. He could never beat his twin in a chess match. He could never do this or he could never do that. He just wasn't good enough. When the twins turned sixteen, Dipper found out why his life was so pressured. Mabel was declared the heiress to the Pines company and Dipper would fade into the shadows, just like grunckel Stan. Dipper was Mabel's highly trained understudy. He and Mabel were tested constantly to see who would be the better heir.

Now all Dipper has to worry about is his social image and knowledge of politics. Mabel has to study, make herself known, and attend social gatherings. They rarely see one another, yet Mabel never acts any different to Dipper. No mater how many days fluttered by, Mabel would always be the sunny twin Dipper knew.

One cold October, after the twins turned seventeen, Mabel told Great Uncle Ford about a particularly interesting young lady she met. Thus, beginning Ford’s indomitable attempts to have both twins engaged by their eighteenth birthday. It wasn’t as if it was an unspoken statement to get rid of the twins. Ford felt that the twins needed a even more secure future, especially Dipper.

Less than two months after the conversation in October, Mabel was engaged to a stiff, proud girl. Her name was Pacifica and Mabel was in love with her. It was bad enough that Dipper had to deal with a micro analyzing uncle, now he has to deal with a enamored sister and an uncle hell bent on get him to marry and behave like an heir.

But hey why should he care he’s in the middle of an interesting book.

“… leading to the next topic”, Ford continued, ”You need to stop refusing every suitor that comes to meet you. It’s embarrassing enough that you won’t so much as leave the manor, unless it deals with a magical creature. I swear, you are going to marry! So, at least try to pick one you like, or I will pick for you!”

“Nope!”, Dipper cheerfully shouted, derision laced in his voice. Snapping his book shut with one hand Dipper stands and ambled to the, cream colored, French doors leading to the manor's back gardens. 'I’m not having this foolish squabble again', Dipper thought to himself.

“Get back here, this instant!" Ford shouted, voice slowly fading from Dipper's ears as he sauntered down the cobble stone paths.

Dipper continued to walk to the grand hedge maze. 'This is unnecessary stress and I’m not doing it', Dipper grumbled, as he disappeared into the maze of shrubbery.

* * *

   
The sun's rays leaked through gaps in the canopy of wisteria. Dipper was securely walled in by the maze's emerald hedges. The floor was a bed of red and orange leaves, crunching as Dipper walked further into the maze. Dipper knows the maze like the back of his hand and his goal lies in the very center of it. Left. Right. Right. Left. And straightforward.

  
The canopies disappear leaving a vast, azure sky in their wake. The hedges open into a roof-less room, walls built by the green plants, with a crystal fountain surrounded by marble benches on each wall.

  
This is the serenity Dipper seeks. He choose the bench to his right to sit down and continue reading. He lost all worry and care towards his looming fate, set for him by his ,”dearest”, Great uncle. Dipper was simply able to forget. He spent from noon to dusk in on that marble bench, in the empty maze, just enjoying the sound of the fountain and the tales in his book.

  
But happy little moments can’t last. So as he watched the sky turn amber, he picked up his book and grimly walked to the manor’s dinning room. He passed the elaborate rose gardens, filled with the colors of autumn, and reached the cream doors of his study. With one last longing look at the gardens, Dipper turned and entered the shadowy study.

  
He carefully set his book next to the mountain of letters on his mahogany desk. Glancing briefly at the addresses and names he quickly lost interest and walked to the ruby colored hall. He stopped momentarily to close and securely lock his study, then continued on through the hall.

  
Glancing at the many faces of paintings as he walked, he reached the main entrance to the manor. Briefly peering down to the Pine's family crest centered in the entryway, he traced the outline that made the pine tree in the center of a shield with two crossed swords behind it. Scoffing at his family’s ridiculously simple crest he continued to the dining room.

  
As soon as Dipper opened the large oak doors, he was tackled to the ground by a large pile of green fabric. As Dipper began to regain his wit he realized that the pile of fabric had long hair, his face, and was squeezing the life out of him with her signature bear hug.

  
“M-Mabel! I’m glad to see you too, but I can’t breath.” Dipper playfully picked, well, as much as a man being strangled could.

  
“Opps, sorry Dip-dop!” Mabel chuckled, releasing Dipper from her python hug.  
Collecting himself, Dipper accepted Mabel's help up.

  
“How long have you been home? I thought you and Pacifica were gone for another week.” Dipper asked, dusting off his slacks and adjusting his cravat.

  
“Well, the business proposal was absolute rubbish and we found a passenger ship that would get us from France to here sooner.” Mabel claimed with her voice sounding almost musical.

  
“Well I’m glad to see you arrived safely.”

  
“I wish you would have joined us in France. We saw all sorts of shows and bakeries. The wine there in amazing! You would never be able to experience it the same! Oh, I bought you several gifts while I was there!”

  
“ That’s very kind of you Mabel. Perhaps after dinner we can see your souvenirs.” Dipper lead Mabel to the dining table.

  
Finally seated, Dipper noticed that Pacifica was joining them and Ford was not. Sighing Dipper said his hellos and shrank into silence as his tablemates made small talk around him. The candles lighting the room danced away as they were served soup, entree, and desert. Dipper barley picked at his food, it was late and he just wanted to retire to his quarters for a good nights rest.

  
Just as he excused himself from the table, the family’s head butler, Soos, rushed through the doors. He urgently rushed to Stan with a letter, and quickly whispered something to him.

  
“Thank you Soos, you are dismissed.” Stan said and opened the letter.

  
Dipper, still awkwardly standing by his chair, elected to sit down and hear what was so urgent that Soos would run in during dinner. Stan stiffened and looked up from his reading to speak.

  
“ Apparently, the King has set up a last minute masquerade. We are all urged to come and mingle. It’s a week from today. Excuse me as I go inform Ford.” Stan said as he stood up and exited the room.

  
“Ooh, a masquerade! That sounds like so much fun! I wonder what I’m going to wear. And Pacifica we should both wear our engagement rings and our family crests and…..” Mabel squealed on and on…

  
Dipper shrugged said good night and was off. ' A masquerade sounds nice. No one will see your face so no worries of making a fool out of yourself. I think I’ll join this little trip to the palace.' Dipper thought.

  
He slipped past his great uncle’s study and made his way up the grand staircase to the awaiting blue halls. He passed window after window showing the manor’s grounds shrouded by night. He finally made it to his quarters and shrugged out of his coat and trousers and into his night ware. He the climbed into his royal blue, canopy bed and snuffed out his bed side candle.

  
'A break from isolation would be nice and grunckel Ford would think it’s to meet potential suitors, so he would be off my tail for awhile.', Dipper thought as sleep slowly clouded his mind, 'Yes, this masquerade ball will be relaxing'

  
And, oh, had Dipper ever been so wrong.


	2. A Pirate Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill's turn!!!!

The sea swelled into navy curls against the scarlet hull of the British galleon. A ship that came to her captain's possession by questionable means and, most likely, much bloodshed. Her name was removed and amended to the "Triangulum bestia". She is the vessel to the most feared pirates across the seven seas. Her most menacing quality is her captain.

Captain William "Bill" Cipher, the most barbarous, vicious, and bloodthirsty pirate captian of them all. The Captain is ruthless in his attempts to defy the crown and constantly takes down major militarily and militarily supply ships in the Atlantic. He never takes prisoners and always burns the ships to sink them to a watery grave. He has taken down so many ships, that when a militarily ship never reaches its destination automatically it is ruled as a raid by he and his crew. And Bill takes great pride in that.

He is, most likely, a complete mad man, with no sensible reasoning left in his wild mind. He is feared even by his fellow shipmates and is not a force to be reckoned with.

Currently, the mad Captain is standing on the ships prow, right above the the swirling waves. The salt air touching his exposed eye and nostrils, leaving behind the burn of the sea. This is where Bill was ment to be. Freely sailing the world any which way.

His scarlett coat flapping behind him as the ship sailed full speed ahead to the port of Gravity Falls. He had a few trades to make with his black market client that concerned his most recent "encounter" with a Spanish Man-o-war.

Stepping back to the deck, Bill made his way to his first mate.

"Tad, how long until we make port?" Bill questioned flipping back his honey colored hair.

"Less than three hours or so." Tad said with his neutral expression.

"Hmm." Bill troted to a crate near the cherrywood stairs that lead to the quarter deck. Bill looked down to the sapphire curls of water and watched the occasional fish jump by, with their silver fins flapping. He remained still, simply observing the waters, untill the fateful call of "Land-ho!".

With those words Bill went to collect the false docking papers. He was in an good mood.

* * *

 

Bill was not in a good mood any more. Actually he's on the verge of a murderous rampage.

The little "client" attempted to downgrade the price of the goods, due to the " grotesque coloration and condition" of the containers. There isn't even that many blood stains. Also, none of the containers were damaged.

Least to say, Bill was infuriated. He spent all that time, killing off the ships' captain and crew, so his men could get all of the goods, just to have a ten percent deduction from the goods original price. Of course after some intimidating, the goods were sold , ten percent higher than original price, and delivered.

Even though the extra gain, Bill felt disrespected and patronized. Fuming with rage, Bill marched into a pub near the docks.

The smell of old wood and strong ale burned at the captain's nose, as he stomped across the splintering floor. He slumped on to a faded leather bar stool and called out for a bottle of rum. A bottle was set down in front of the tetchy captain. Completely bypassing the glass next to the bottle, Bill ripped off the cork of the bottle and took a long swig of the amber alcohol.

Grunting as he set the bottle down, Bill surveyed the lively bar. Seeing nothing more than a few of his men chatting up prostitutes anda few drunken poker games, Bill returned to his bottle.

A few minutes later and Bill had finished off the rum, paid the bartender, and was out the door. He felt that a walk would do him well. Passing by numerous window shops displaying womens' dresses and accessories, a cozy little bakery, and two butcher shops, Bill finally found what he needed.

The bookstore looked old and run down but it still held a warm glow.

Pressing inside Bill took in the smell of old papper and dust. Ge looked at the multiple shelves stuffed with books bathed in colors of blues and reds. He slowly walked in and out of the shelves, looking for anything that could spark an interest in him.

As he was walking, he fell into something warm.

"Ouch!" the object cried.

"What-tha!?" Bill shouted as they went crashing to the floor. Books landed with dull thumps around the captain and his unfortunate associate.

"Ughh... Get off me!" the boy commanded.

Not making eye contact Bill complied and sat up on the floor next to him.

Finally looking at his victim. Bill took note of how beautiful the boy was.

Soft, messy, brown locks sat gently atop his delicately shaped head. Skin as fair as snow painted the boys face. A soft pair of full, rose lips lay under his button nose.

Bill slowly raised his eyes to boy's. Bill was enchanted by these orbs.

His eyes were blue. Not the ordinary sky blue or even the little flowers that spring up by the side of the road. His eyes were blue like the sea, crystal clear blue- shimmering and crashing and churning. Looking into his eyes you could hear the waves falling against the shore, see the foam flying into the air. His eyes caught the beauty of deep oceans glittering in the light of the moon. They were iridescent and flecked with every shade of blue. Cut just right, even the darkest of sapphire couldn't hold light to the electric fire that burned each rim and shimmered just under his glossy gaze.They were the blue that froze you in place, captivated you for even the slightest of moments.

Nocking out of his trance, Bill shot up and lent his hand to the elegant creature before him.

" I would like to offer my most sincerest of apologies, for nocking you to the floor." Bill began.

"It's alright. We all space out from time to time. Are you alright?" the beauty asked

"O-oh I'm quite alright.." Bill stuttered with a blush. Finally catching himself, he regained his usual confidence , smoothed his hair, and began his introduction. " My apologies for not introducing myself sooner. My name is William-"

Just then the door to the shop burst open with a frantic girl behind it.

"Dipper! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!", she shouted, " come on! Uncle Ford wants you at the tailor NOW!" With no warning the girl dragged the boy out the door and to the busy streets.

Bill snapped his mouth shut and followed the pair with his eyes, through the window, untill he could no longer see them.

With a sigh of defeat, Bill cleaned up the book covered floor and stepped out into the busy town.

Making his way back to his ship, Bill remembered the intense eyes the boy had. He had wished to continue a conversation with him. Well, at least the girl gave him a name.

'Dipper', how peculiar.

* * *


	3. A Day In Town

Dipper looked back to the old bookshop as Mabel dragged him into the dusty, cobblestone streets. He watched the bright, wolf-eyed man stare at him as they rushed away.

The man, 'William' he recalled, seemed upset as Mabel pulled him away. Oh well, fate set their courses away from one another. ' I shouldn't care', Dipper thought, ' it's not as if we will meet again.' Soon, the thought of William faded to the back of dippers head.

* * *

 

Arriving at the tailors, Dipper was ordered by tall, thin old man to sit and remove his shoes and over coat. After executing the first order Dipper then was told to go in a room that had a navy curtain in front of it.

Grogley, he walked passed the numerous displays of cravats and under shirts, to reach the little measuring room. The room held a full length mirror and a tiny, blue velvet cushioned chair. Dipper sat in the chair for what seemed thirty minutes, before the plump tailor waltzed in. Dipper stood, and the tailor smiled.

" Good afternoon, Mr.Pines! how has your day gone so far?" the tailor chirped.

" My day has been fine, thank you for asking." dipper timidly replied, unprepared for the boisterous tailors greeting.

" Good, good. Now, how about i get your measurements and then we discuss what your outfit will look like, hmmm?"

" Alright," Dipper quietly replied.

The measurements took about ten minutes, then dipper was dressed and sent to a mahogany desk and told to sit in one of the stuffed, peach chairs in front of it.

He waited for a little bit and Mabel sat down in the chair next to him. they chated about the day and what dress Mabel ordered, until the tailor arrived.

" Hello, Ms. Pines", the tailor cheered, "come to help your brother pick his outfit?"

" Most definitely!", Mabel cried, " He couldn't dress himself to save his life!"

Dipper protested, but laughed it off with them. He could see what Mabel ment, he dressed for comfort, not fashion. Despite his looks, his wardrobe was rather plain and colorless, making him appear common and average. Even right now he wore a simple brown outfit with a loosely tied, cream cravat. Nothing seemed to stand out and that's how Dipper liked it.

He sat back and listened to his sister squawk at the tailor about patterns and colors. He almost dosed off, until Mabel asked for his opinion. 

"Huh? Oh, um that's fine." Dipper grumbled.

"Dip-dop, I didn't ask about the style, i already knew you'd love it, I asked about the color." Mabel picked.

" Then what are the color choices?" Dipper unwillingly asked, knowing full well, that he just set off a chatter bomb.

"Well, i was thinking this royal sapphire blue, or this forget-me-not satin blue, or this newly bloomed bluebell shade, or maybe this Norwegian glacier blue! Oo! What about this shade! Or that one! Did you know that blah! Blah-blue! Blah-blah blah...Blah......" 

She went on and on. Blue this and blue that. It was like trying to swim upstream through rapids, you get set no where but back. 

Finally, after what was about four hours, Mabel and Dipper exited the tailor shop. It had been midday when the pair walked in to the shop, now it was almost sunset. 

'Mabel and her perfectionist needs', Dipper thought.

The twins walked down the street to a small bar, called "The Mystery Shack", to retrieve their carriage driver. The old bar was filthy and rotten. It probably needed to be torn down in the interest of public's safety, but here it is, standing and open for any fool to waltz in and have a drink.

The pair a stepped thorough the open, red doors and began hunting for Soos. Finally finding him in the loft, they told him it was time to go. 

Stepping back outside, Dipper took a breath of clean air, not polluted by human body odor and smoke like the shack was. He quickly made his way to their carriage, parked in an empty lot next to the bar. 

Opening the door and jumping in, Dipper sighed with relief. The day was almost over and as an added bonus, Dipper got to eat dinner in his rooms. No need to worry about Ford trying to convince him that his latest suitor, is "perfect for him" and that if he "doesn't get engaged soon, he'll lose everything". 

Soos opened the carriage door for Mabel and said they'd be on their way soon. Around five minutes later, the carriage was moving back to the manor. 

Gazing out the window, Dipper observed the farms and animals they passed by. It was sunset now, he watched the sun's fiery red orb of light slowly sink beneath the horizon, as threads of light lingered in the sky, mingling with the rolling clouds, dyeing the heavens first orange, then red, then dark blue, until all that was left of the sunset was a chalky mauve. Finally, the sun disappeared along with its shine. But the stars peek out under the new, navy sky. And then the moon's glowing halo, lifted to the sky, casting her pale rays to the earth. 

Finally, Dipper let the thrum of the carriage, send him to a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did some one say "Filler Chapter"? Sorry guys, i needed this to set up the next chapter. So, you got this.
> 
> Important stuff with Bill next!


	4. What Would You Give For A Loved One?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Harsh Language

The docks were set ablaze with early morning light. Slowly, the life breathed back into the docks and everyone cheerfully began their new day.

Well, almost everyone...

" What-tha hell!" Bill yelled as Tad ripped open the curtains in his room.

"Captain, we have a very important meeting with the Corduroy family at noon." Tad said as he mercilessly ripped the comforter off Bill.

"So! Why tha hell should I care at this hour! Get the fuck out you nag!" Bill retorted.

"First of all Bill, it is nine o'clock, you should have been up at six. Second of all, you should care because you need to get dressed, eat, hire a carriage, and make the two hour trip to the mansion. Which may i remind you, you have a meeting at the mansion in exactly three hours, with our most important client. Also, watch how you speak to me. I'm having to put my life on hold to get your sorry, hung-over, ass out of bed like I'm your fucking mother, just so this sorry collection of shit, you call a crew, can keep getting paid and not trying to kill you! And you want to fucking yell at me?! Bill I swear to the heavens above, if you aren't ready in fifteen minutes, i will skin you alive!" With that Tad slammed the door to Bill's room.

This was going to be a long day for Bill.

* * *

 Finally, up and dressed in a fine, silk suit with dramatic, knee-high boots, Bill made his way to the ship deck. He let his eyes adjust to the blistering light, then he made his way to the first mate.

"Oh! Look at that! The primadonna is alive!" Tad picked.

"Shut up, ya Molly! If i didn't know any better, I'd say you were my mother!" Bill shouted.

"What if i am your mother?"Tad joked.

"Then you sure as hell fit the description!"

The men laughed and set off to the docks below. They dodged the careless barrel pushers and slipped passed the ditzy lumber carriers, to make it to the city streets. Silently agreeing to part for a little while, the pair split.Tad went to find a carriage driver to hire, while Bill went to seek breakfast.

Bill casually walked down the street to a bakery called, "Greasy's Bakery". It was interesting to say the least. Entering the open doors, Bill's sense of smell was overtaken by the smell of biscuit dough and bacon grease. The lighting was much darker than outside and it took a moment for Bill's eyes to adjust.

"Hi!",an old woman mused," Welcome to Greasy's, I'm Susan, what do ya need?"

 Bill quickly ordered blackberry scones and found his way back to Tad, whom was now leaning on a carriage and talking to its driver. A brief conversation later and Bill was climbing into the dull black carriage. Once Tad joined Bill, Bill handed two scones to Tad and they made a little small talk. The carriage took off and the men fell into a comfortable silence for the rest of the trip, watching the landscape slide by.

* * *

 

  Finally, after a silent trip through the dark, dreary forest, the pair arrived at the mansion.

It was made of thick, black stone, which was covered in a dew of ivy. The old, tarnished porch was made of darkly-painted wood, and a black-velvet, cushioned chair was displayed by the doorway. Bill took a step closer and took in the essence of the home, with its soft willow trees and tiny lake.

It seemed homely, yet cold. The whole area seemed oxymoron. The usual animal life you would see in a clearing like this, was absent and replaced by a cooling summer's wind.

And judging by the array of tree stumps, Bill concluded that the Corduroyfamily mainly dabbled in lumber trade.

After passing the overgrown gardens, the pirates made it to the main door. Reaching for the tarnished, brass lion head with a large brass ring gripped in its mouth, the door opened to a large, burly man with fire red hair opened the door.

"I've been expecting you two",the man stated, " join me in the sitting room".

Both pirates, clearly shocked that the master of the manor would answer the door himself, dumbly followed into the dark halls and to the sitting room. Entering the dusty room, Bill finally got a look at their client.

He was not as brooding and fearsome as he appeared to be at the door. If anything he looked dispirited and unnerved, making his whole appearance seem ancient and wreaked by misfortune. It was a depressing sight to see someone whom once radiated power and prosperity, shrivel with time and age into a shell of what they once were.

Bill took his eyes off the poor sight and turned to look at the portrait above the mantle of the fireplace. The portrait held a family. A family of smiles and warmth, contradictive to the current atmosphere of the manor.

 Curiously, Bill looked at the only woman in the painting. She had red hair like the sir of the house and many similar facial features.

The man cleared histhroat, gainingBill's attention. He stood and began to pace in front of the pirates.

"You must be wondering why i called for people with your 'professions and expertise." the man rattled in a gruff voice.

"Yes, sir." Tad said

"Well I obviously need you to 'take back' something that belongs to my family."

"From whom shall we be taking from?"

"The royal family."

From those three words, Bill knew he was in for a lot of stress and possible execution.

"Sounds fun. What do you want?"


	5. A Masquerade of Misfortune (Part 1)

Dipper wasn't excited as he should be about the Royal Masquerade, at least according to Mabel. He should be bouncing off the walls of the carriage like her as they ride toward the Palace. The only nice thing about this, to Dipper, was that Ford was pleased he didn't need to be forced to go out and socialise.

"Do you think we'll be able to tell who the Royal Family is?' Mabel asked, sitting on her hands as she bounces excitedly in her seat beside Grunkle Stan and across from Dipper.

"No, the point of this is to mingle with others aristocrats and hopefully get the Prince a betrothed. So Dipper, don't do anything to embarrass yourself." Ford said, looking at the brunet beside him.

"Well, what does that matter? No one will know who we are, so no one will be able to tell it's me doing anything embarrassing." Dipper said, not looking at his Grunkle, but rather at the passing town. He knows that Ford meant that as, 'don't ruin your chances to become betrothed to someone', but was stubbornly ignoring any subtle hints Ford dropped, taking everything at face value and not looking deeper.

Mabel made small talk with their Grunkles while Dipper started questioning whether or not this was an intelligent idea, he knows his chances of getting engaged at such an event were slim to none. The chances of anyone figuring out who he was by interaction were non-existent because of his near hermit status.

Mabel was a different situation. Most aristocrats can identify her by voice alone, so it wouldn't be a jump for them to hear her speaking, and figure out that the three men she came in with were her family. Dipper nearly groaned at the thought, but before he could even attempt to convince Ford that he should go home, probably by faking an illness, the carriage stopped and several moments later the small door was opened. Ford left first, then Mabel, next Stan, with Dipper leaving the carriage last, nervously adjusting his mask as he thinks about everything that could possibly go wrong.

With his luck, he'd probably trip on the prince and get executed. Well, it would be better than being engaged to someone he cared for as much as Ford's lectures.

Mabel hooked her arm around Dippers, leading him into the palace as his brain thought of every worst case scenario. She let him stew until they were almost at the ballroom before leaning over and whispering "Everything will be fine, Dip-Dot. You'll see. You'll be dancing with your true love by the end of the night."

Dipper looked over at his sister and sighed with a small smile, "I don't believe in true love Mabel, you know that."

"You will, by the end of the night. Now! Let's go mingle!" Mabel said, walking into the ballroom, whilst dragging Dipper to a group of people conversing mildly.

* * *

 

Bill and Tad walked through the castle with several aristocrats. Tad was contentedly chatting with them about something Bill didn't care for, while the pirate captain looked at their surroundings, silently cataloguing exits and anything of value worth stealing when they take the necklace that Sir Corduroy wanted.

When the group arrived at the ballroom, Tad wandered off with a chipper lady on his arm, going to speak to others who may know the location of the precious object. Bill, on the other hand, was much more content to wander around and flirt his way out of any confrontation, after all, when does a pirate get another chance to steal the heart of an aristocrat figuratively instead of literally?

Twenty minutes in and Bill was ready to tear into someone and eat their heart. He knew that most rich morons lived boring lives, but he never thought that the most exciting conversation he'd have for the night would be about knitting. Not that he was really paying attention to the energetic woman talking about all the best ways to make sweaters and what type of wool was best.

He kept looking over at Tad who was talking happily with a couple of women and another man, hoping the other would give him the signal that he knew where the necklace was. As much as Bill wanted to leave the brunette who was talking, this was the most amusing conversation he had had all night and he prefers not going back to listening about the proper way to stitch or croquet.

"So, what's your name?" The girl asks, looking over Bill with fascination and scrutiny.

"It's a masquerade madame, I'm certain our identities are supposed to remain a secret," Bill said, putting a finger to his lips in a shushing motion.

"You can't have that unique of a name, after all, there are at least six people here named Richard." She said, with a little spite in her tone, before looking around the room and making a dramatic hand motion to someone Bill couldn't. Then, someone in a well tailored, colbalt blue suit skirted around the dance floor and appeared by her side within minutes, despite seeming to be on the otherside of the ballroom.

Bill scrutinized the smaller man, he seemed very familiar, but Bill couldn't place a name without a face, perhaps with a voice but he couldn't be sure. Bill started from the ground and looked over every inch of the man he could see, when he got to the others face, he scanned over the mask with little care, but the boys eyes. Blue eyes, just like the sea.

Bill grabbed a glass off of a passing waiter's tray, as the trio quietly chated, he pretend to sniff the wine when he was really, smelling the brunet man. Pine trees, forest, earth, nature. Bill's lips curl into a smirk as he drank from the glass. The boy would probably be the most amusing thing in the room.

"CANDY! GRENDA!" Shooting Star shouted suddenly, in an undignified way Bill hadn't expected to hear, especially so close to his ears. Of course the brunette was gone before Bill could blink, over at the entrance talking to two other girls who had just arrived.

"Well, if people didn't know who she was before, they do now." The shorter man mumbled, sounding as though he wanted to pout.

"She doesn't understand that identities aren't suppose to be shouted across the room at masquerades, does she?" Bill asked, looking after the pink bird with muted curiosity, but turned his attention back to his current aquantance.

"So Pine Tree, you look absolutely miserable." Bill chide, raising an eyebrow as he not so discreetly, looked Dipper over.

"You deal with your great uncle trying to set you up with people you'd rather punch in the face, than marry." Dipper grumbled, seemingly upset and wanting to sullenly glare at the floor, rather than look prim and proper. It took Dipper a moment to realize what,  _exactly,_ he had said, and how it was to someone who he didn't know. An absolute stranger.

Bill was quiet, if Tad were beside him, he'd call it an amazing feet of demonic power that someone was able to shut up,  _Bill Cipher,_ with a few words. But Bill was much more preoccupied with how much he _loved_ the shorter man, rather than think of his friend.

Bill wasn't a stickler for the gender of his bedmate, male, female, whatever they want to be, didn't really concern Bill too much, if at all. And he was fully aware he might be slightly jumping the gun, but in all seriousness, the kid just said he'd prefer to punch the pompous party goers in the face, to someone he didn't know. And at an occasion where everyone was required to be extremely polite, too. Even if Bill didn't like the kids personality later on, he was still completely enamored with him at the moment.

"Uh, I didn't-", Dipper attempted, but Bill cut off the kid's effort to apologize for the accidental statement.

"Would you like to dance?" Bill asked, as the symphony began to play a waltz. He held out his hand for Dipper to take.

"Uh, sure?" Dipper's response sounds more like a question, but Bill took his hand and walked them to the dance floor where others were gathering for the waltz, Bill discarded his, now empty glass, on a tray as they entered the dance floor.

Bill places them in the center of the floor as the dance begain. Slowly, people start moving through the motions. Bill easily led them, having taken dancing lessons with Tad, for shits and giggles more than anything. Tad was better at the waltz than Bill, but Bill was far more efficient with the tango.

"So why is your great uncle," Bill pauses after saying the phrase, seeing if it sounded improper, before continuing, "trying to marry you off?" Bill asks innocently enough as he twirled Dipper.

"He's on a mission to get me engaged before my eighteenth birthday. I'm on a mission to achieve the exact opposite." Dipper said, as they mindlessly danced.

"I don't particularly see the problem, you do live in his home, correct?" Bill stated with a hint of snarkiness.

"Yes, so my entire fate is to marry a terrible bore with no flare for adventure, so he can get me out of his manor. Because that is so justified." Pine Tree says in an unbelievably dull tone.

"Adventure? What sort of adventures do you get into Pine Tree?" Bill asked but as the blond spun the brunet. Bill saw Tad give him the signal, meaning time to go take back a dear friend's necklace.

"Aw." Bill pouts as the music comes to an end, then sighs.

"Well, this is our goodbye, Pine Tree." Bill pulled the hand he had been holding to his face and kisses the back softly, before meeting a blushing Pine Tree's eyes.

"Until next time, my sweet Pine Tree." Bill says with a gentle smile. However, a quietly hissed 'Bill' from Tad, broke the moment and Bill reluctantly followed his friend off the dance floor.

* * *

"You and the demon guy have fun?" Mabel whispers as she and Pacifica pulled Dipper to one of the walls, to lean against.

"I don't know." Dipper mumbled, then groaned quietly and put his head in hands as the next song starts up.

"Did he seem familiar to you? I could've sworn I've heard his voice before but I couldn't place it." Dipper questioned, looking over at his sister with confusion.

"I don't remember seeing or hearing him anywhere and he's pretty memorable. Pacifica? Have you ever seen him before?" Mabel asked her fiancée. Pacifica had gone to more events than Mabel and Dipper in Gravity Falls, due to her living there her entire life.

"No, I didn't talk to him, but I've never seen him before. And my memory is excellent. Maybe he just moved here? I don't suppose either one of you were told his name?" Pacifica asked, looking between the twins.

Both shoke their heads but Dipper stoped and straightened up. "When we were on the dance floor, someone said Bill and he left, following him." Dipper jerked his chin to indicate the pair, on the other side of the dance floor.

"Dipper, there are at least ten nobles who's name is 'William'. A last name-"

"The guy from the bookstore." Dipper chimed, a bit too loudly, causing several people to look at him before going back to what they were doing. "Sorry." Dipper says at a much more acceptable volume.

"What guy from the bookstore?" Mabel asked, looking at her brother curiously.

"When we went to the tailor, I went to a bookstore, before you dragged me out I was talking to a guy who said his name was William. Now that I think about it, there are a lot of similiarities. They sound similar, their hair, the one eye thing." Dipper continued to look at the man decked out in yellow and black,  while he talked with another man and wallked off, out of the room.

"Where do you think he's going?" Dipper asked, causing his sister, and soon-to-be sister-in-law, to look over at 'Bill,' who was leaving through a door that _should_ be locked.

"Maybe he's a friend of the royal family." Mabel says, sounding hopeful as she bit her lip.

"No, he's.... no." Dipper says shaking his head, as he thought back to the bookstore, about the blonde's striking yellow eyes and heavenly tanned skin.

"He seemed like a boring nobleman who would rather be anywhere but here, but came nonetheless." Mabel said, sighing with slight relief.

"Like half the people here?" Dipper asked. Mabel replied with a smile and a nod.

"Well, now that we know who stole Dip-dots heart, I must go mingle. Why don't you two dance." Mabel said and dashed away, leaving the pair.

"Well, I did want to dance more. But I don't trust you to lead Dipper." Pacifica said, giving Dipper a look that clearly stated she would not be argued with.

"I'm fine with following, also, you are taller than me in those heels." Dipper offered, taking Pacifica's hand as the last dance ended and a new one began. It was quaint and simple, Dipper didn't mind Pacifica leading. He didn't like the dance and was quite happy when it was over.

He could sense eyes on him and  he didn't particularly like it, especially when he couldn't find the source of them.

"I'm going to get some fresh air." Dipper said, leaving the ballroom for one of the balconys overlooking the garden.

The brunet sighed and leaned against the railing. Dipper had never been more wrong in his life. He thought the ball would be relaxing, yet Ford was _still_ trying to engage him to another aristocrat. And he could still feel someone starring at him, even out on the balcony.

It was beginning to piss Dipper off. One relaxing evening out of the house, thats all he wanted.

Apparently, that was too much to ask for.


	6. A Masquerade of Misfortune (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most important thing learnt from the Masquerade; never dance with someone you hate. It won't end well.

Dipper shifted and looked around. He still had a feeling that someone was watching him. But now it had turned into something that felt more like someone breathing down his neck, more than anything.

After several more minutes of Dipper feeling as though he was being ogled at, he was prepared to sock whomever it was, in the jaw, hard.

So when the snowy haired man approached him, Dipper was tempted to just punch him and walk away. Of course, that would have been very rude, and at an event that called for one's best behaviour, rudeness was not acceptable.

Although, when the man started talking, Dipper really wanted to throw politeness to the wind and just shove him over the railing.

"I overheard your sister talking about you. It really is such a shame that both of our families are putting the amount of pressure on us that they are. Marriage should be for love rather than status.", He started, "I mean, don't you just find it so frustrating having all these expectations on you? And having someone micromanaging everything about your life, too?" He asked.

"Not really, my uncle only wishes for me to marry. My sister is the heiress, so the only micromanaging Ford is doing, is my love life." Dipper said, completely uninterested in what the other man had to say.

The way he held himself, how he talked, his _tone_ all of it screamed _'I'm a pompous asshole, I love my life and find nothing wrong with it but have a profound desperation to complain because I'm bored'_.

"But your love life is the one part you should be able to control. Finding someone you truly love is so rare, you should be able to choose without any interference. I would surely be happier if my father hadn't forced me to attend these sort of things, just looking for suitors. Honestly, I get enough requests as it is, I don't need to see more people to know I won't love any of them. It's such a terrible-"

Dipper stopped paying attention to what the other was saying, he honestly didn't care. _'And who did this moron think he's fooling anyway? It's painfully obvious he's just like nearly everyone else here. Boring, pompous, and the type of asshole who would receive a broken jaw rather than a proposal acceptance.'_

 _Dipper_ held back a sigh as his internal monologue of this asshole continued, ' _What even possessed him to come out here and talk to me anyways? Why does he think I'll give a shit about his fake issues? And does he really think he can fool me with this act? A deaf man could hear his lies.'_

Dipper really couldn't stand listening to the platinum blonde's 'issues' any longer, so he cut the other off when he heard a familiar tune playing.

"Would you care to dance? This song is a personal favorite of mine." Dipper said, holding out his hand to the other. The man was flustered, slightly stuttering before accepting and placing his hand in Dippers.

Dipper didn't really care for the dance,the only reason he learned how to dance it was because it was the easiest to way to escape from creeps. Like the man he was dancing with.

As the music swelled and everyone started, Dipper glanced around at all the other dancers, hunting for anyone who wouldn't mind him ditching them. Dipper paid little attention to his new partner, politely acknowledging him and glancing around the room a bit more before giving his obvious attention to the man before him.

After several more partner changes, Dipper and the mystery creep were on opposite sides of the dance floor, and the brunet took the chance. Whispering a quick excuse to his partner about feeling unwell and needing some air, Dipper vanished from the ballroom, running quickly down the stairs and into the Royal gardens.

* * *

Wandering deep into the hedges, passing several couples, Dipper stopped when he reached a fountain off in a secluded area of the gardens.He laid down on the thick concrete edge of it, looking up at the stars above. Dippers eyes immediately found the Big Dipper and he got lost in his thoughts.

Of course, he wasn't there for long, untill the annoying voice of the stranger rang through his head, as a hand was set on his thigh. Dipper looked over at the platinum blonde without moving his head. He really wanted to punch this man.

"Why did you leave the dance, my dearest? You were so wondrous. Like an angel dancing across the heavens." The man said, and Dipper remains silent.

Glaring at the man, hoping he gets the _'Im about to crack and murder you, get the fuck away'_ . Although since he kept talking, it was clear he didn't.

"You know when I first saw you dancing with that blonde, I was smitten. You glided across the dance floor like a swan. Beautiful as a butterfly and just as graceful." He went on like that, comparing Dipper to animals or mythical creatures, which really only served to anger Dipper more.

After what felt like hours of glaring at the ranting man, Dipper had had enough.

The brunet sat up abruptly, causing the other to lose his light grip on Dipper's thigh, although he continued talking, now gazing into Dipper's cold, murderous eyes. Dipper opened his mouth to tell the other off , but stopped when the platinum blond pulled off his mask.

"I didn't wish to reveal my identity for fear you would become distant due to who I am. But I can no longer deny my identity or my heart. Please, my love, take off your mask so I can ask for your hand while gazing at your surely wondrous beauty." Prince Gideon Gleeful said, taking Dipper's hands in his own.

 _'Oh, fuck!'_ Dipper remained silent as he tried to figure out what he could possibly do to get out of this. He can't tell _Gideon Gleeful_ off. That's like asking to be exicuted.

He also couldn't say no, because the Prince can simply go to Ford and get permission that way.

Dipper gulped quietly as he gently pulled his hands out of Gideon's grip, slowly reaching back to undo the ribbons holding his mask in place.

"Dear heavens, you're beautiful. I can't wait for us to marry and learn everything about each other." Gideon said. Dipper realized what he could say to get out of this, at least for awhile.

Dipper left his mask in his lap and placed his hands over Gideon's, "My Prince, as honored as I am by your proposal, I wish for us to truly know each other before we even think of wedding. I would hate it if you disliked something about me and if it ruined our marriage. Please, let us spend a few months courting before even speaking of mariage. Besides, with the extra time, more people can meet me. Do you not wish for everyone to meet your possible future spouse?" Dipper asked politely, keeping the gentle smile that Mabel taught him to fake, as he spoke.

"Oh, alright.", Gideon said a little disheartened," As long as it is you, I'll wait forever. Just so you can be the light of my dim life. So I can show you my love, for the rest of time and beyond."

' _Why me!'_ Dipper cried in his head.

"Quickly! We must get our families and tell them the great news." Gideon yelled.

* * *

Nothing is weirder than running into a masquerade, without a mask, and being dragged around by the crowned Prince. Nothing.

The eyes watching the pair were curious and hungry for any information. It felt like being torn apart by starving wolves. The room was silent except for the music and occasional cough.

Gideon made his way over to the queen and king and whispered for them to go to the library. Gideon told Dipper to collect his family and join them.

Explaining this to Ford would be anoying.

* * *

Both families were informed of the current relationship and the adults instantly broke into a conversation about Dipper.

They were practically appraising him as if he were a show horse. Age, height, family standing, government standing, education, hobbies, and ability to birth an heir. All of which Ford awnsered for Dipper.

The Queen wasn't too pleased about Dipper's viscount status. But she got over it once she heard how much education and etiquette training he had gone through. She was quite pleased to learn that Dipper had also learned about magic politics and how to fight off any demonic curse.

The only problem was that Dipper was a male and could not give an heir. But since the royal family had basically any witch or wizard under their thumb, they knew a simple fertility spell would fix that little problem. And Dipper was not happy with this arrangement.

It was decided that the spell would be cast before the couple's wedding night. And Dipper would be the carrier if he liked it or not. Also, to make Dipper seem good enough for the royal family, he'd be moving into the palace, in two weeks exactly.

* * *

After nearly three hours of debate and compromise, Dipper and Gideon were officially announced as a courting pair. They weren't engaged but most likely would be, later.

The ballroom was filled with loud cheers and a few angry grumbles from the ex-suitors of the pair. 

Mabel could sense Dipper's unwillingness to go through with this, but she told him to lighten up and maybe he'd even learn to love Gideon.

That was not what he wanted to hear.

* * *

After the family had returned home to the manor, Dipper went to his room and cried himself to sleep.

He was on his own.

He finally understood that now.

He didn't have Mabel, Stan, or anyone. No one carried about his feelings, they basically just sold him for status.

In a few months, Gideon would propose and he'd have to say yes, or get labeled with treason and executed. A few months from that, he would marry the fool. Then he would go through corination and have to provide at least two heirs.

He'd have to help run the country once the Queen and King stepped down. He might even die in child birth. Or he may be viciously murdered by rebels or a band of raiding pirates. He would have to behave perfectly from now on. Mistakes were no longer an option. He would never be allowed to leave the palace. He'd be a prisoner in his own home for the rest of his life.

He had handed away his life the moment he offered to dance with Gideon.

It was supposed to be a relaxing ball. Just for him to chat and dance. It wasn't supposed to be the end of his freedom. 

How can a masquerade lead to so much misfortune?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are on the 1st and 16th of every month from now on.


	7. A Captain That Most Certainly Does Not Pout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Sea Monster cameo, A pouting Captain feature, and a military featurette , what a wonderous week on the Sea!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because the update dates are further apart doesn't mean the chapters will be longer. They might be, but really the length between updates is so we both have time to write the chapters without it interfering with our lives too much.
> 
> But regardless Enjoy, and fair warning at their is mention of amputation at the end of this chapter

It had been a couple weeks since Bill and Tad had swiped the Corduroy necklace from the Palace. No warnings or alarms had blared at all, so the pirates figured they had gotten off scot-free with the necklace. After returning it to the giant of a man, Bill decided to do something to get his mind off of the boy from the masquerade. Which meant-

"Monster off the port bow!" Pyronica yelled, as half the crew was scrambling to get the ship under control, while the other half ready the weapons to attack the creature they had been fighting for the past half hour. Bill laughed gleefully, laughing even louder when a dying scream of a crewman reached his ears.

To Bill, hunting the monsters that swarm the oceans wasn't just a great source of bounty, but also _hilarious_ as his crew tried to survive the run-ins. The only people who had survived through all the monster hunts he'd gone on were Pyronica, 8-Ball, Teeth, and Tad. Mainly by throwing others to the monster in place of themselves, but who cared.

Although what Bill found truly hilarious, was when some poor, brand new crewmember, started to tell him off for sending them on such a horrid hunt, whilst Bill was laughing his ass off.

Of course, it only stayed amusing for a short while. After all, complaining was still complaining and it wasn't something to be done on his ship. If the crewman didn't get eaten by the monster, Bill would gladly dismember him with cruel deliberation.

"Bill, tail at 2 o'clock!" Tad called, warning the Captain, much to almost everyone else's chagrin, before the blonde could get crushed by the tail.

"Tad! how many men have we lost?" Bill yelled, running over to the other man.

"Ten. Also, we've received heavy damage." Tad shouted, holding onto one of the ropes tied to the mast as the ship heavily rocked back and forth from to the monster's splashing.

"You're going to suggest we stop hunting it, aren't you?" Bill groaned, stabbing the tail that tried attacking him again, with his saber.

"That or you start helping." Tad deadpanned, as Bill pulled his sword from the creative's heavily bleeding tail.

"I haven't helped on one in a long time. Normally you pick capable crewmen, Strange." Bill complained, but walked over to where the tail was trying to attack again and just cut the thing off before it could crush the helm.

"Fire the harpoons!" Bill shouted, poking the severed piece of tail with his saber a couple times.

* * *

It took awhile, but soon they were sailing to the shores of Spain with the dying creature towing beside them.

Several hours passed, and the sun was setting by the time they reached the town that had been terrorised by the sea monster.

Tad and Bill went to go collect the reward and hand over the meat of the monster they couldn't take with them on their journey back to Gravity Falls. Of course, such a journey was delayed when the pair remembered they had to replace more than half their crew. As people were either eaten or had bolted as soon as they docked.

"When did everyone become such cowards?" Bill grumbled, alone on the ship and laying on the top deck waiting for Tad, Pyronica, 8-Ball and Teeth to return from recruiting hopeless morons. Any of the crew that remained aside from those four were in town, likely at a tavern.

Bill, despite the day he's had, opted to stay on the ship and pout. Not that the great fearless, bloodthirsty, beautiful captain would ever admit to pouting. He was most definitely not upset over their sudden departure and not knowing who his cute little Pine Tree was. Not even a little bit.

Bill still couldn't believe the shitty timing Tad had had with finding the necklace. Just a little longer. A little longer and he might've been able to get a name. Or figure out why the fuck the kid seemed so damn familiar.

Bill groaned loudly and banged his fist into the deck, startling the birds that had been resting on the mast.

"Bill, are you pouting again?" Tad asked, climbing aboard with 8-ball, Pyronica, Teeth and around 30 people Bill didn't know, in tow.

"Of course not. I do not pout Strange." Bill said as if he were offended. He stood up and gave the quartermaster a passing glare before eyeing the new members.

"So this is the new blood. " Bill smirked at the clear unease from half of them at being in his presence. Good. People should be scared of him.

With his reputation, he'd be more surprised to find someone who was completely comfortable in his presence.

Like his Pine Tree.

Shaking his head Bill spoke loudly to the new crew. "Before we set sail with you morons aboard. You should take several things to heart. You will be responsible for yourself. Food will be cooked and prepped for you, but whether you get it or not is on you. You will die. Either trying to take a ship from the military or from one of our many adventures, the people around you have the same life expectancy as a witch. If any of you have complaints, take them to Strange or shut your trap about it. Knowing this, feel free to leave the ship if you don't like these terms. Oh, and lastly, if you're dying via one of our adventures, I will start laughing, this was your choice and it ended through your stupid actions." Bill stated with an eerily joyous grin.

Several people left the ship, most stayed and followed Pyronica, Teeth, and 8-ball down below deck as they explained what everyone's responsibilities would be.

"So what were you _not_ pouting about?" Tad asked after everyone was out of sight and earshot.

"I do _not_ pout!" Bill exclaimed, pouting. At Tad's raised eyebrow, Bill's pout turning into a glare but vanished as he loudly sighed and flopped back down onto the hardwood deck.

"If you _must_ know, I was thinking of Pine Tree," Bill grumbled loudly as he was NOT pouting. Nope. Not at all.

"Why were you thinking of coniferous plants?" Tad asked as he walked over to the Captain with both confusion and slight concern for the other's back. It could not be good for it to fall on solid wood.

Bill's glare was back in place of his pouting.

"Not Pine TreeS, Pine Tree. The cute little brunet in blue from the masquerade." Bill said without any real malice despite the look he was giving his quartermaster, just slight annoyance.

"And he's still on your mind because..?" Tad trailed off, waiting for Bill to respond.

"Because he's cute? I don't know," Bill whined, agitatedly shifting his body as if he wanted to throw a full fledged tantrum but forcefully held himself back, "I met him before. But I don't remember where." And Bill was back to full fledge pouting.

"Yeah, well stop it. It's getting annoying ya know. With that speech, I'm sure all the new blood is expecting the Great Bill Cipher, the Terror of the Ocean, not a petulant child. Do that in your quarters." Tad said, escaping to the decks below before Bill could attack him for calling him both petulant and a child.

"Strange!" Echoed throughout the harbour as the blond man went hunting for his quartermaster.

* * *

The Square Hunt was unsuccessful for a couple hours before Bill lost his anger on some new bloods doing their jobs incorrectly and retired to his room to pout in peace.

"Cap'n!" Pyronica had been calling for Bill for the past half hour, but the blond made no move to give a fuck or answer her.

"You shouldn't pout in the dark." The pink haired woman said, entering her Captain's quarters without permission.

"Why does everyone think I'm pouting?" Bill grumbled, pouting.

"Because why else would you not be terrorizing the new crew?" Pyronica asked, probably raising her eyebrows like Tad. Bill didn't bother to look to check.

"Which, ya know, you really should be doing. 'Lot of them even wonder if you're the real Bill Cipher. So Terror up Cap'n." Pyronica said, leaving Bill to his pouting afterwards.

Bill grumbled a bit more before getting up, getting presentable, and heading out to fill hopeful hearts with terror.

The majority of the crew were thankful when their shift was over and the other half of the crew took over nighttime duties. Bill retired to his room after invoking some terror on a few of the crewmates, even the nastiest of pirate captains need sleep, Bill was no exception.

* * *

Of course, when the tanned captain actually started to _get_ some sleep, he _had_ to be awoken by a panicking crewman.

"What?" Bill grunted out, glaring at the being who dared to disturb his rest.

"A Naval ship, Captain, 16 klicks off the starboard bow, spotted from the Crows Nest." The man said, out of breath, and slightly terrified of his captain. Bill grumbled and pushed his way past the wary man and climbed up to the crow's nest, taking the periscope from woman to see the Militia ship for himself.

"Not just a Naval ship. An escort ship!" Bill shouted joyously, looking through the eyeglass at both ships, moving slightly faster than before, having clearly spotted the pirates.

"Change course! After those ships!" Bill shouted, with a whoop of laughter that woke half the crew. A loud bang and splash of water is what woke the other half.

"What the fuckin' 'ell?" Bill muttered and looked off the port quarter, spotting a small fleet of naval ships heading their way. Bill laughed loudly and changed his orders

"Halt the ship! Turn the cannons towards the stern! Prepare to prove your worth! First bloodbath ya snotters!" Bill shouted to the crewmembers below the crow's nest with deranged laughter.

After that announcement, the crew was in severe disarray, the ones previously sleeping getting dressed and preparing for battle while the others moved the cannons into place.

Tad shouted orders for them to start firing from the stern and quarter cannons and when the naval ships come into view to fire from the beam cannons.

Bill remained in the crow's nest as the deck fell into disarray with people either switching off jobs or running down to get dressed or attending to the cannons on the topmost deck. The blond laughed when half of them flinch after a cannon is fired from the Stern. However, they quickly resume as several more cannons are fired.

"Pyronica!" Bill shouted loudly, causing the girl to halt in her actions to go below deck to assist Tad with the Gunners. "Get Strange up here to prep for a boarding!" Bill ordered, unable to hear the woman's response, which he could only presume was a 'yes sir!' or something more vulgar.

Bill climbed down from the Crows Nest, assisting some of the sailors in tying up the sails to prevent them from going anywhere as the four naval ships got closer. After that was mostly handled, Bill dropped down to the deck and went into his quarters to get into actual clothes instead of his sleepwear.

"Cipher! Get yer ass out here! They're gonna board ya Yankee!" Tad shouted from the other side of Bill's door, moving just out of the way as his Captain kicks it open.

"Well then, we better go greet them!" Bill stated, smiling as he walked further on to the deck where the new crew was waiting, all with weapons to fight off the naval officers.

"I'll say this once more! Most of you are going to die! However, if I see one coward try to run among you, better know I'll force all of you miserable landlubbers to pay the price!" Bill shouted with a finality and a glare before two planks hit their deck and naval men came aboard, fighting anyone they saw.

Bill slipped through the fighting and dashes across one of the planks as Tad does the same with the other ship, cutting through any officer in their way.

Bill managed to kill all the remaining officers on one of the naval ships, checking every crook he could to make sure there were none left before heading towards the Captain's cabin to finish off the moron who dared attack the _Triangulum Bestia_.

Bill grunted as a bullet grazed his side, but easily cut the gun off the man who had tried to shoot him. Bill hauled him out onto the main deck by his hair and threw him to the ground, whistling loudly to garner everybody's attention, before beheading the man with a joyous glee.

His men jumped into action while the naval officers were distracted by the death, easily cutting down most of them. Bill ordered the crew members not fighting to go steal the now empty naval ship's artillery supplies and to start shooting the two naval ships behind them as well.

After that was done, Bill headed over to where Tad was limping off the plank and onto the _Triangulum Bestia_. "What, did one of them hit you with a plank?" Bill asked, noticing the odd angle of the leg and how little blood there was.

"A cannon ball, Captain, now either shut up and get out of my way or help me to the doctor." Tad grumbled, pissed and annoyed at the fact that a _powder monkey_ had gotten his leg before Tad could dispatch him. Bill offers his Quarter Master an arm and helps him below deck while shouting orders to the remaining crew to do what he had just ordered others to do to the other naval ship.

"We still have two more to deal with Cipher, don't forget that" Tad muttered, limping down to the small med bay where their surgeon was.

Bill was waiting on the blood-stained deck for his crew to either die on the naval ships or come back. The blond watched the two ships behind them fight three enemy ships, instead of just one.

After they were down for the count, Bill would have his men burn the naval ships to a crisp. Of course, only after their carpenter had gotten all they needed for repairs.

Bill became extremely bored with the silly little cannon battle going on. The naval ships were taking a far heavier beating than the _Triangulum Bestia_ so there was really no problem he had. They were winning and soon enough, they would be alone on the open sea with four naval ships burning in their wake. Bill grumbled, ordered Pyronica to tell him if he was needed, and went below deck to check on Tad. It would do him no good to lose his favourite quartermaster.

"Still alive, mother?" Bill asked, right as a loud crunch rings throughout the room as well as a muffled scream from Tad.

"Well, it'll heal. You just need to stay off it for a couple weeks." Kryptos said, wrapping the battered leg in bandages to set it straight.

"Don't worry, Strange. I have a cane or two you could use." Bill offered with a grin. Tad's response was muffled by whatever was in his mouth.

"What was that?" Bill asked, having a good guess as to what it could be.

Tad removed the gag with a glare, "Fuck. Off." He stated with clear annoyance.

"Later~" Bill sang, leaving the room before Tad could find something to attack him with.

* * *

Bill sat in the crow's nest, watching the military ships burn brightly in the sunrise. Most of the crew was asleep, only the bare minimum awake to keep the ship going. The captain was falling asleep himself but stubbornly stayed awake.

Sleeping in such a small area would be one of Bill's worse choices and Tad was currently resting in the blond's quarters. Due to his injury and pure exhaustion the Quarter Master had, as the brunet had been awake longer than Bill had. Even the maniacal Captain knew when someone needed his cabin's comforts more than him.

* * *

Tad was still asleep when it started. Crewman stopped doing what they should, going to the starboard beam of the ship and looking over. Bill was pissed at them for ignoring their duties but conceded that everyone needed a distraction at some point, especially if they're working with minimum sleep.

However, any leniency Bill felt stopped when the men started jumping overboard.

"What tha fuck!?!" Bill shouted, climbing down from the crows nest as more and more of the crew jumps overboard. Bill jumped the last of the way when he reached the lowest sail attached to the mast.

When his feet hit the ground, any anger the blond previously felt vanished, as had his growing worry for the crewmates jumping overboard. The blond Captain stopped in his place blinking as he tried to process what he was hearing.

"Bill~ Bill~" A soft echoey voice called from the waters below, while the tone was softer, lighter, the blond captain could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Pine Tree!" Bill shouted running to the Starboard Beam rails and looking over the edge. Despite the many crewmen throwing themselves into the water, there was barely anyone there.

A few men who just jumped and some people Bill's never seen before, but the blond paid them no mind. His entire focus was on his Pine tree. Still, in his pale blue mask, black music notes dotting the porcelain surface.

"Come down~." Pine Tree called out, waving a hand down indicating Bill should jump. So that's just what the blond captain did. Despite the layers and weight of his now wet clothes, Bill easily swam over to the brunet.

"Pine Tree." Bill whisper, cupping the other's head with a small smile, before ducking his head to kiss the exposed lips of the beautiful brunet.

"Bill!" the captain could hear someone calling his name but paid it now mind. He was entirely focused on his Pine Tree. Bill raised his hands and took the mask off the brunet, eyes widening at the face it revealed before leaning down and kissing the brunets luscious lips.

"Bill!" Someone calls again, but it's as though someone had pulled him underwater. Everything felt so far away, so unreachable. Except his Pine Tree. The boy from the bookstore. Dipper. The only thing attainable to the blond pirate. Only thing Bill could have for the rest of his life.

* * *

"Cipher!" Tad called out once more, looking in the ocean to try and spot his Captains blond mop with no avail. When the brunet had awoken to some annoying singing, he was prepared to tell some crewmen off for making noise, not having to keep his crewmates from jumping overboard. Regrettably, he was only able to stop less than ten others from jumping into the water. Pyronica, 8-Ball, Kryptos, Keyhole, Teeth, Xanthar, Paci-Fire, and Hectorgon were all tied securely to the mast.

Tad grumbled, pulling off his overcoat and shoes, before jumping overboard to go looking for his moronic captain. Tad didn't know _why_ he wasn't affected like the others, and at this moment, he didn't really care.

A few minutes later, Tad was nearly out of breath and, thankfully, came upon his sinking captain.

Tad pulled the blond up by the armpits and held him securely to his chest as he started to swim upwards, barely doing so with all the extra weight. Mentally grumbling, Tad lifted his Captain up and toke off the others overcoat and shoes, as well as anything else that could increase the weight of his much too lanky Captain.

The swim upwards was still hard, Tad nearly out of breath, and Bill still weighing half a ton. When Tad finally reached the surface, he was panting, gulping in large mouthfuls of air before starting over to the ship. Only to be yanked down by his ankle as that horrid music started again.

Tad looked down and spotted a horrid creature that looked something akin to a harpy mixed with a mermaid that had dried up in the sun. Barely being able to stand to look at it, Tad kicked the thing holding him in the face and continued his swim over to the ship, reaching it, Tad pulled Bill over his shoulder as he started to climb up the netting on the side.

However, he had barely made it out of the water when something grabbed his damaged leg. Tad yanked it out, continuing his climb as something akin to fingernails tore at the flesh on his ankle and foot. Once Tad was almost on the deck, the attack had ceased, although Tad was going light headed from the attack on his body.

Tad threw Bill onto the deck as he hobbled over to the helm to steer the ship away, thankful for the breeze that came to assist them in doing just that. Tad heard concerned shouts before his world turned black.

* * *

The next time Tad came into consciousness, he was back in Bill's room, which led him to believe everything was merely a dream. Tad rubbed his head and grumbled, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed and grabbing one of Bill's many canes.

Tad was done with sleeping if those are the sort of dreams that come to him. Tad stood up and almost instantly fell back on the bed in shock. Half his leg. He was missing half his leg. Everything below his knee was gone. He couldn't feel the wood beneath his feet. At first, he had thought he merely slept with his boots on, but he couldn't feel anything. With horror, Tad realised that his 'dream' actually happened.

"Hey! You're awake!" Bill exclaimed, opening the door to reveal sunlight that hurt Tad's eyes and made him cringe.

"Oops. Sorry. Do you want help walking?" Bill asked, walking out of the blinding doorways and in front of Tad. Now without the blinding sunlight behind him, Tad could make out several things. One, Bill was shirtless, two, he was bootless, three, his pants were not his own.

"Bill? What happened?" Tad asked, voice oddly hollow.

"We let a new blood steer." Bill said with a shrug. Tad glared at the blond with burning anger that was not normally present in the brunet. Clearly, Bill should not joke about what happened. The blond sighs and sits down on the bed beside his Quarter Master.

"We let a newbie steer, they mixed up starboard and Port, we ended up off the coast of a small island. The wind suddenly stopped, which isn't too odd on the open sea, so it raised no alarms. Then, everyone started jumping overboard. We lost the entire crew, everyone, we picked up in Spain. Almost lost me too. Thanks to your shocking immunity, I managed to survive with a few cuts." Bill explains in a solemn, borderline sobbing tone before the blond glanced down at Tad's missing appendage.

"You were less lucky. One of, whatever they were, attacked your leg. Due to the amount of damage, Kryptos claimed that it would be more harmful than helpful to keep it, so it was amputated. According to him, an infection was going to set in before it would heal. We've been coming in here twice daily to changed and wash the bandages to make sure it doesn't get infected. Pyronica assisted in cauterizing it, as did Paci-fire. But you've been out for several days, let's get you something to eat." Bill finished, wrapping an arm around Tad's back to assist the brunet in walking to the deck and then the Galley, Tad also used the cane for assistance as they walked the small distance.

Learning to live without a leg would be difficult for anyone, but Tad Strange would be able to take on the challenge. He did, after all, work for the psychopath Captain Bill Cipher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also here are our Tumblrs in case you want to come bug us:
> 
> Ash: http://iloathedrinkingcoffee.tumblr.com/  
> Zhe: http://zheawesomest.tumblr.com/


	8. The final adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper seeks one last adventure, which he certainly gets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy the chapter, feel free to bother us on tumblr, which we gave on the last chapter.

The morning’s sunrise was a breathtaking display of radiant colors. Bright streaks of red, pink, and orange slowly overcame the dark blue and purple of the twilight sky. The sky resembled a prism; all the colors blended perfectly into each other. The sun itself was just peeking out of the horizon, and its brilliant rays already shined brightly and began to warm the air. Something so full of beauty and radiance should have been for a day of happiness and peace.

Sadly, this day for Dipper would be anything but that. It had been exactly one week and five days since Dipper's unwillful meeting with the Prince.

In exactly two days, Dipper would be on his way to live in the castle with that pompous windbag, for the rest of his miserable life. To say that he was hesitant about that, would be an understatement.

Even though the sun was just rising, he had already been awake for hours. The night before had been a full moon that lit the forests up like a clouded day. So Dipper saw the perfect opportunity to explore his home for the last time.

He'd waited in his room until two in the morning to ensure that everyone in the manor was asleep, before sneaking into the back gardens.

From there, he scaled the garden wall and made his way to the tree line. Turning back to the manor, a brief idea crossed his mind. He realized that he could run into those woods and never have to come back. He could be free. He could do as he wished forever. No one was stopping him. If he went into those woods, he didn't have to come back.

And yet, Dipper knew, he did have to come back. There were laws and regulations that he would be breaking by abandoning the crown. Life wasn't a fairytale. He wasn't some housecat that decided to jump out an open window and disappear. He was a human being with responsibilities to his family. He had to do what others saw as right. So with bitter remorse, Dipper swore to return to the manor before sunset and face his life at the hands of the royal family.

And with that Dipper began his last journey into the Gravity Falls forest.

* * *

It was around eight in the morning when he came to a waterfall.

The white water cascaded down a series of rocky outcrops, giving the effect of many waterfalls rather than just one. Then it flowed on its way, nonchalant as if nothing had occurred. The mist swirled around in the morning light, giving off the appearance of a rainbow. It was breathtaking, and certainly not an uncommon sight for the enchanted forest.

Closing his eyes, Dipper could hear the singing of mermaids, in the pool, at the waterfall's base. He heard the hum of forest nymphs and chirps of morning birds. Apart the noise would be beautiful, but together they sounded like a bunch of musical babble. And it was beginning to give Dipper a headache.

* * *

Continuing deeper into the forest, he happened upon a clearing. There were no flowers in the clearing, due to it being late July, and the solid sea of green grass gave the area a uniform appearance. The grass was Eden-green and thigh-high to a thrush. It was quite a sight and seemingly inviting.

Dipper slowly walked into the clearing. He kept the caution of a deer as he made his way to a familiar fallen log. The log was smoothed and shiny from the years and years of Dipper's forest adventures. No matter where he went in the forest, Dipper always had managed to find his way back to the dry-rotted log to watch the clouds pass through the sky.

It had been nearly two years since Dipper had traveled in the forest. It had changed a lot. The fairy gardens were destroyed by some form of dark magic, the waterfalls seemed to be teaming with kelpies, and there was a suspicious lack of red-cap gnomes. The forest was never a happy place and always changed nonstop.

Yet, in some form or another, it was the only sanctuary Dipper could ever find. Maybe it was due to the forests' spontaneous adventure or maybe it's due to how at first glance you could know that you'd never fully discover it and it would keep you entranced by its mystery for eternity. 

Dipper certainly couldn't tell. All he knew was that the forest entertained and constantly challenged him to his peak, and that was what always compelled him to return.

Dipper lounged across the log turning his head to the sky to watch the clouds passing over with solemn joy, knowing very well that this would be the last time he saw them from the forest. In his new life at the castle, he figured he wouldn't be allowed off grounds, and he would _never_ be allowed back in the forest. He knew that many people either feared or hated the forest and only a select few ever ventured as far into it as Dipper often had.

The brunet had had his gaze locked onto a triangular-ish shaped cloud, trying to figure out why it felt so familiar when he heard some rustling in the underbrush. His mind jumped back into the here and now as he looked around, trying to find the source of the sudden sound.

Dipper stood up and walked silently around the clearing trying to find whatever could've made the sound. However, the brunet was not expecting for a red-capped gnome to fall out of the tree in front of him and into the bush below.

"Are you alright, little guy?" Dipper asked, looking down at the Gnome with curiosity. Mainly at why it was in the tree. The red-capped gnome looked up and just stared at Dipper without saying anything, then bolted back into the surrounding dense trees.

"Okay...," Dipper muttered, looking up at the sky and finding the sun's position with ease, judging how long he had until he needed to head back.

Dipper had just laid down on the log and returned his gaze to the clouds in the mid-day sky when he heard more rustling. Figuring it was just the gnomes falling out of trees, Dipper paid it no mind.

Until a weight settled on his chest. Dipper sat up and looked at the red-capped gnome now on his lap, as well as several others Dipper spotted in his peripheral vision. Looking up and around, Dipper realized he was _surrounded_ by gnomes. This can't be good.

"You're pretty!", "Stay with us!" the gnomes cried.

"Will you be our Queen?"

Nope. Definetly not good.

"I can't." Dipper responded immediately as he set the gnome that was on top of his chest on the ground.

"But why?"another asked.

"I'm not staying here for long", Dipper said to distract the gnomes as he took a few steps away from them.

"Oh, okay. ROPES!" One of the gnomes shouted, causing Dipper to jump back and narrowly miss getting his feet pinned under a rope.

Moving faster than he had thought he could, Dipper was up and running through the forest with an army of gnomes hot on his tail. Dipper ran through the forest, winding through trees, changing course, he did everything possible to lose the gnomes.

* * *

After running for what felt like hours, he was out of the gnomes sight. Dipper heard them still and was running out of breath. The brunet knew the area and knew that behind the waterfall was a cave, speeding up, Dipper more or less dove into the little cave, holding his breath as he watched the army of gnomes pass by. After he figured himself safe, Dipper groaned about the pain the water pressure from the waterfall had caused him. It was loud enough that Dipper doubted the gnomes could hear him, but the Brunet really didn't want to take the chance.

Dipper had never been in the cave before, he knew it existed because once when the waterfall froze during an especially cold winter, the ice in front of the entrance to the cave broke off allowing people to see and the entrance of the cave. Not that many people even went out into the forest, to begin with.

Due to the waterfall the cave was damp and cold. It had mold and mushrooms all around its walls and floor.

Taking a step forward Dipper nearly slipped on the thick, black slim covering the floors. 

Regaining his balance, he saw a faint glow. It was further away, deeper into the cave. Ignoring his rational instinct to run away, the young Pines started his way to the glow.

Tripping over rock and slipping on puddles, Dipper discovered the source of the light.

It was a unicorn.

Not just a unicorn. A baby unicorn.

And it was leaning against a dead unicorn carcass.

Dipper was captivated.

The baby was asleep but it's born illuminated a pale blue light that diffused, like a watercolour, into the darkness of the cave.

It was breathtaking and incredibly upsetting.

Clearly, the deceased unicorn was a parent to the baby. And the baby was mourning the loss of their loved one.

Dipper let out a loud sniff. He had begun to cry at the sight before him. The poor little creature had lost its only loved one and would likely starve to death.

Little did he know, was that the baby unicorn was watching him.

It got up from the side of its parent and began to sniff Dipper.

Shocked by the sudden sound, Dipper looked up and came face to face with the fuzzy, white muzzle of the baby unicorn.

There was a long moment of complete silence where the two just stared.

Then the baby unicorn stuck out its tongue and licked Dipper's face.

That was definitely a shock to the scenes for Dipper.


	9. Emoting, the difficulties that ensue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! It's been a while and this is gonna be posted really late. I'm sorry, I wrote this today. Yeah, sorry. I have no other excuse than I forgot and procrastinated. Posting this right before midnight. Awesomeness. Also I, ZheAwesomest, take full responsibility for everything that happens in this chapter.
> 
> Regardless of my reasoning, I shockingly have some warnings for this chapter, I already added them in the tags but I'll warn here as well; **This Chapter includes Ableist language, Acephobic language, suicidal thoughts and self-hate** I don't know if that'll be a problem for anyone, but I figured I say so. It's kind of littered throughout the chapter, but basically whenever it's Tad's POV, expect negativity.

It didn't take long for the pair to arrive at the galley, while longer than normal due to Tad's hobble, it didn't take longer than ten minutes at most. "How do you feel?" Kryptos asked as soon as the pair enter the dimly lit room.

"Tired." Tad said, shrugging off Bill's assisting arm and walking the short distance on his own with his cane with some trouble, but making it to the table nonetheless.

"Anyways, what were those things?" Tad asked as Bill sat down across from him and Hectorgon set a plate of food in front of him.

"I think they were sirens or something related to them at the least." Keyhole stated, showing everyone a picture of a 'siren' which looked like a more beautiful, human-y version of what Tad saw.

"I'd say a relative, they looked more like a harpy mixed with a desiccated mermaid." Tad said, and started eating the food in front of him.

"Well you're the only one who saw them as their true forms. To the Cap'n, they looked like his _'Precious Little Pine Tree'_ and the rest of us never got a glimpse." Pyronica said with a shrug, mimicking Bill's lovestruck tone on the pine tree comment, earning herself a glare from the blond.

"It's odd that they didn't affect you the same way they did with everyone else." Keyhole pointed out and after a long silence, the topic was changed, much to Tad's delight. He hadn't a clue why they didn't affect him and he didn't want to find out.

"We didn't take much damage from the Sirens. Other than the surplus of men we lost, there was no further damage to the ship. Well there are some nail scratches and the bottom of the netting is torn but that's not exactly pressing." Bill explained, waving his hand in dismissal at the small scale damage.

"However, the cannons from the navy did more. While we're in no immediate danger of sinking, everyone suggests we find a port soon and repair it. Not all of our needed repair can be repaired on the sea, nor do we have all the necessary supplies and hands anymore." Bill added with a sigh before getting up.

"I'm going up to the crows nest to make sure we're not in anyone's sights." And with that Bill exited the galley.

* * *

"And when we dock, we can see about getting you something to replace the leg you're missing." Kryptos added after Bill disappeared through the Galley door.

Tad nodded, looking down at his limp pant leg. He couldn't walk. Not without assistance. It was hard enough dealing with Bill's bullshit before. But now...

Well if Tad was honest with himself, it would be smarter for him to just let himself off at the next port and stay there. Either he'd find a job he could do, or fade away like many others. Bill had no need of a gimp. No matter the sentiment Bill may hold for the brunet, the blond should think of his crew first. And no crew needed broken Quartermaster.

"Strange? You in there? Don't tell me you lost your mind like the Cap'n!" Teeth exclaimed loud enough for Tad to be extracted from his self-deprecating thoughts.

"If I lost my mind like Bill I wouldn't stop talking." Tad stated, rubbing his eyes sleepily, suddenly feeling exhausted as all hell. He retained a yawn and almost started to stand up before he remembered and looked down at his missing appendage.

"Why don't I take you back to the Cap'n quarters?" Xanthar offered, standing up and walking over to Tad.

"I can sleep in my own bed. Besides, I'm sure Bill will appreciate having access to his own clothes" Tad said with a sigh, having little protest as the taller man simply picked him up rather than assist him in walking like Bill had done.

"Nope. Captains orders. His room or the deck." Keyhole exclaimed as Xanthar carried Tad out of the Galley.

"Then please drop me on the deck!" Tad called out to the group as Xanthar brought them up to the deck.

"Xanthar! Take Strange to my quarters quickly!" Bill shouted as he climbed down from the crows nest and ran past the pair and into the galley.

Before Tad could question anything, Xanthar had crossed the deck and was setting him on Bill's bed before leaving. Tad moves to get up to figure out what the hells going on when he hears the lock slide into place.

"Bill! What the hells going on?!" Tad shouted, trying to make his way over to the door but falling before he made it halfway. Tad leaned against one of the walls and to tried to figure out what was going on. But all the brunet can hear is shouting and the waves crashing over the ship. If he had to guess, Tad supposes they entered a storm.

Which actually lent some sense to what Bill had ordered Xanthar to do. Tad wouldn't be able to do much other than hold on in his current condition. But that didn't make Tad feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse. What good was a Quartermaster if he can't help the crew? What purpose did he now serve, other than taking up unnecessary space and eating precious food.

Tad remained on the floor where he fell until Bill came back in, soaking wet with several new sea dwelling accessories attached to parts of him.

"What're you doing on the floor?" Bill asked, walking over and helping Tad back on the bed without waiting for an answer.

"What happened?" Tad asked, despite having a pretty good idea of what went down.

Bill snorted in immediately in response, "What'd ya think? A hurricane came out of nowhere, wrecked half the ship. Keyhole found a nearby port that has a master that is easily swayed by some gold." Bill said, going to his closet and grabbing a few articles of clothing, tossing some on the bed for Tad. "They estimate we're going to be there in a couple hours at most. That storm did us some favours, surprisingly. Get dressed, if you need help, call for one of us." Bill said, leaving the room with a full outfit that wouldn't make him be immediately designated a pirate. Tad could only presume that their flags were being changed to make them appear more harmless as well. 

Tad neither said or did nothing after Bill left. He didn't know _what_ he could possibly say. The moment he said anything, he would be scared. Logically, he knew Bill would never tell him he's not good enough for his crew, even if he's missing a couple limbs, but Tad's logical thoughts were halted. Every time he thought of telling Bill, of telling _anyone_ , a cold feeling surrounded his heart and suddenly he felt as though, should anyone find out, they'd leave him. Nothing his logical mind pointed out could quell the fear growing inside him. 

Tad was _scared_. Scared of what Bill might say. Scared of what _he_ might say. Scared of what _could_ happen. Scared of what the crew would think. Would they believe he was no longer fit to be Quartermaster? Believe that everything he thought about himself would reflect on how he performed his duty? Tell him that he shouldn't be a pirate anymore? Tell him they're leaving him at the docks? Would they vote, or would Bill just abandon him? Would he even be told or would he just see the ship leaving without him and be left on his own? 

With every thought that passed through his head, Tad felt worse and worse. The brunet was horrified at the turn his thought process had taken. This crew was his family. Bill was his _brother_ . Fuck it. Bill was as crazy as they came and Tad still loved the bastard. The moron could get over him missing half a leg. 

With a new resolve, Tad changed into the clothing Bill had laid out for him, the shirts were a bit too big, as were the pants, but Tad didn't really care. He tied off the pant leg right below where his leg ended and stood up, momentarily forgetting he still couldn't walk on his own. Tad didn't even make it one hop before the ship lurched and he was thrown back on Bill's bed.

Well, at least it was the bed and not the other side of the room. "Bill!" Tad calls, louder than he even spoke recently. It took a few minutes, but the blond soon popped his head into the room. 

"Aww, didn't need no help getting dressed?" Bill asks, walking fully into the room, wearing a shirt the colour of stained parchment and black pants with black boots Tad had never seen before. 

"No, but moving around is near impossible" Tad stated, request clear as Bill stayed by the door for a couple more seconds before walking over and sitting down beside Tad. 

"You sure you want to be walking around? Maybe you should just rest more." Bill suggested, setting a hand on Tad's shoulder. 

"I'm done resting Bill. Resting isn't going to do jack shit for my condition. This isn't a cold you can just sleep off. I'm missing my leg. I don't like sitting here being useless." Despite the little outburst, Tad's tone remained pretty neutral throughout, never raising or changing pitch. It was odd, and to a normal person, creepy. But to Bill, to Bill it meant Tad felt truly helpless. Tad rarely resorted to the happy-go-lucky always-neutral man he had been before joining Bill's band of pirates, and when he did it was because he felt alone, scared and defenseless. 

"Alright alright, no need to be so mad. Let's get you up and give you a tour of our very damaged ship." Bill says with a light chuckle, wrapping an arm around Tad's waist as the brunet wrapped an arm around the blond's shoulders. After making sure everyone was comfy, Bill helped Tad walk out and into the sunshine on the barely floating ship. 

"Mother hell, this is going to be a joy." Tad mutters, looking around, from the missing chunk of the bow to the missing rails to the fact that they only had half a mast and a giant crater in the middle of the deck.

"Yeah, that storm did us in good. Nice of it to drop us off near a port." Bill said, and helps Tad walk around what remains of the ship. With this much damage, the brunet is honestly surprised Bill's cabin had remained untouched. Bill leads Tad around the battered ship, greeting one of their friends should they pass on their adventure around the ship. 

While Bill was excitedly pointing out things, both on the ship and out in the sea, seeing all the damaged was only making Tad revisit certain trains of thought. "Bill. Can you take me back to wherever you want me to rest?" Tad asked in a cautious, fairly neutral tone that concerned Bill. Not that the blond showed it. 

"That'd be my quarters, Square," Bill said with a joyous tune as he guided Tad back to the Captain's quarters. "You wanna stay in here until we dock?" Bill asked as he helps Tad back to the bed. Tad silently nods and lays down on the bed, looking up at the planked roof. "Sleep tight," Bill mumbled, leaving the room quietly. 

And leaving Tad with his thoughts. Which, if reflected on, was probably not the wisest decision. Left alone with his thoughts, Tad's mind decided it was a good time to dive back into the hole of self-deprecation. After all, what's a cold, dark, dank room without thoughts of how shitty you are?

Tad rolled over onto his side and looks at the wooden wall, mind drifting through his thoughts. He couldn't even _walk_ on his own. If he couldn't walk, he couldn't do his job. After all, one has to be able to run to stop Bill before he does something immensely moronic. There _is_ a reason Tad's in charge of basically everything, from the loot to the crew members to whatever Bill cannot be trusted with.

_'Or rather, there_ was _a reason I was in charge'_ Tad thought with a grimace. He highly doubted the crew would keep him around, regardless of what they say. He's a gimp, and when they reach port, the crew will realize how stupid they'd be to keep him on as their quartermaster. 

Tad's mind went on like that until they reached port, making him more drawn back and silent than before. At the port, Bill departs from the ship before the others with Pyronica to find the man Keyhole knew about.

Bill walked around the little seaport town, looking into the windows of little shops and homes, trying to find the old man Keyhole had described to him. Hunched over, long gray beard, band-aid in said beard, cast, gold tooth, big nose. Keyhole apparently didn't have a name, which made Bill's job ten times harder, since he can't just ask for the coot. 

Sometime after midday, Bill walks into the forest. According to some people in a tavern, an old coot lived in the forest. Now Bill didn't normally follow rumours from drunken bastards, but he was getting _slightly_ desperate. He had walked through the entire town, even the dump, and had found _no one_ matching Keyhole's description. This old probably-not-real hermit was his last chance before he'd had to go back to the ship and tell Tad that they can't get him a fake leg yet. 

Bill was wandering around the forest long enough that the sun had dipped low in the sky. The blond knew he should be getting back but he hadn't found the old man yet. He wanted to at least see him for his own to eyes and get the man to agree to make Tad a prosthetic leg.Bill was lost in his thoughts of how to get the old man to agree if he didn't want to when a boot came sailing toward his head and hit him square in the face. The blond flinched and glared around to try and find the perpetrator, which was fairly easy all in all, he just had to spot the man dancing around and shouting like a moron. 

"What the fuck?!" Bill grumbled under his breath as he realizes that this man is _the man he's looking for_. Bill sighed and walked over to the now-quiet man who had another shoe in his hand. Bill raises his hands in surrender and stops a ways away. "I mean you no harm. I just need your help. You're an inventor right, old man? You can create fake legs?" Bill asks, keeping his eyes on the boot the old man was waving around. 

"You have both of yours." The old man states, still waving the boot around threateningly. 

"It's for my friend. He lost his to infection. We can pay you whatever you want." The old man still didn't seem convinced with Bill's pleading, so the blond did the one thing he despised doing and never did honestly. "Please. He really needs it. Please." The word felt foreign on his tongue but since the old man wasn't waving the boot around, Bill figured it was worth it.

"Well bring your friend by! Ain't got anything else to do." The old man turned and walked towards a cabin Bill hadn't noticed before. The blond spun on his heel and almost ran back to the port while memorizing the way back to the Old Man's home. 

"Tad, get up! We're heading into the woods!" Bill shouted, barging into his cabin and running over to Tad who he picked up and carried out without a word of further explanation or heeding the brunettes protests on being carried.

It was past nightfall by the time Bill arrived at the old man's cabin with Tad in his arms. Bill was ignoring Tad's demands to be let down and knocked on the old man's door with his foot since his hands were otherwise occupied. It took a couple minutes for the old man to open with an accusatory shout of "Whose there?! What do you want?!" 

"I came by earlier. This is my friend who needs a new leg." Bill reminded the old man.

"Alright. Bring him in." The old man said, walking away from the door, "I made squirrel if either of you are hungry." The old man added as he walked into a different room as the pair entered the household. Bill shut the door behind him and set Tad on one of the chairs before heading into the kitchen to see the food the man had cooked. 

"That is not squirrel," Bill stated when he re-entered the room Tad was in. Before Tad could ask what it is then, the old man came back in with several boots. He threw them on one of the chairs before grabbing Tad's bum leg and rolling up the pant leg, mumbling as he does before comparing the non-complete leg with Tad's other one. 

"Alright, it'll be a while before I can make you one that fits perfectly, but until then, one of these will have to do. After all, you want to walk right? Better get right into practicing." The old man suggested, grabbing one of the boots and pulling a metal and wood contraption from it. "Names Mcgucket by the way." The old man stated before attaching the contraption to Tad's leg, causing the brunet to scream.

* * *

Tad passed out from pain during the night as Mcgucket kept having to adjust the prosthesis which was extremely painful to the brunet. Bill was alone in the main room with Tad while the old man was working on a better prosthesis for Tad. Bill watched his friend's steady breathing, thinking about all that had transpired and all that will. McGuckget said that it would take at _least_ a month until Tad could _possibly_ walk on his own. How well Tad could walk entirely depended on how often the brunet practiced and how well he healed.  


Bill sighed and leaned back in the red chair he sat in. He could tell the moods his quartermaster had been going through, and Bill knew Tad would take the information with a grain of salt. _If_ he walked and practiced everyday he could _possibly_ walk on his own again in a month. But that if he _doesn't_ injure himself while practicing. If he doesn't, he can set himself back months depending on the extent of the injury. McGucket also told Bill that Tad would probably have to walk with a cane for the remainder of his days. 'You are going to kill me." Bill muttered to himself, gazing up at the ceiling.

"Who is?" Tad asked, blinking awake groggily. His leg hurt but it was pain he could deal with. Bill getting murder on the other hand...

"You. "Bill stated flatly, but continued shortly, "So, McGucket suggests you start trying to walk with assistance on that leg tomorrow, there are some rungs out in the forest that people use to practice walking. He said you'd be good in a month if you practice every day. "Bill seemed to hesitate before adding "So long as you don't injure yourself that is. And you'll need to use a cane for the rest of your life." 

Tad was quiet for a while and the question that came out was not what Bill was expecting, except really, it should have been. "What will you and the others be doing while I'm here?" 

Bill didn't respond to the inquiry for a full minute, deciding it was far better to simply stare at the brunet in confusion, before stating the obvious. "Staying here with you. What else are we to do? You're our brother, our friend, I'm sure as me that the others won't mind staying here for a month. " 

Tad hadn't looked up since his gaze had locked onto the crude prosthetic that McGuckget had attached to his leg, he hadn't even glanced at Bill since his original question when he woke up. Bill would rather not leave Tad but he should probably inform the others as to where they are. "Will you be alright for the rest of the night? I'm going to run back and tell the others where we are so they don't send out search parties but I'm going to be back before you start practicing." Bill said, standing up already. Tad merely nods, not even looking at the blond as he leaves.

Tad shifted in the chair, closing his eyes and trying to go back to sleep without paying any heed to the voices fluttering around his head. 

_' You're wasting their time. '_ _'They're not even going to stay. '_ _'Bill won't come back by sunrise.'_ _'Why would they want such a gimp?'_ 'You won't even be able to walk on your own' _'They have no need of you'_ _'You're such a fuck up of a pirate'_ _You're such a fuck up of a human being'_ _'You won't ever be useful to them now'_ _' You can't even whore yourself out.'_ _'Why would they keep you around?'_ _'You know perfectly well why those things didn't affect you.'_ _'You're broken. Not even the deadly sea monsters want you.' 'They'd rather have a psycho than an assfucker' 'Oh wait, you're not even that.' 'You won't even fuck someone' 'Who ever heard of a pirate not fucking for fun?' 'They'll hate you when they find out your secret.' 'If they don't already' 'Who would ever love a broken gimp?'_

The sun was almost up before Tad was able to get any rest.

* * *

Bill walked into McGuckget's cabin before the sun was fully in the sky, he stopped himself from calling out or making any loud noises when he noticed Tad was still asleep. In the blonde's memory served, Tad was normally wide awake when the sun rose, even if he had gone to bed merely two hours before. Bill quietly walked over to the chair he had previously been sitting on. Bill sat down and looked his brother in all but blood over. 

Tad's hair was unusually messy, his legs were curled tight against his body as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible, his hands were laying limply on top of his head, as if before he dropped off he was squeezing his skull tightly, and there were tear tracks down his cheeks. 

Bill sighed and shifted slightly, trying to think of any reason Tad would start crying as he so rarely does. Actually, if Bill thinks about it, he hasn't seen Tad cry in years. The brunet puts up with so much, whatever it was that made him cry must've been important. As the other stirs, Bill resolves himself to talk to Tad about it later.

"Bill?" Tad asked, sounding groggy with a slight undertone of disbelief as if he hadn't thought Bill would come back. 

"Do you know anyone else this hot?" Bill asked, smirking. 

Tad chuckled breathlessly and shook his head before stretching out his cramped limbs, "You said something about walking today?"

* * *

It had been three hours since McGucket had shown them the parallel rungs others have used to assist them in walking, why they were out in the forest, Bill didn't know, but he enjoyed the privacy it gave, and the blond was sure Tad enjoyed it as well. 

For the first hour, Bill had been walking with Tad, just in front of the brunet, assisting him with the movements his subconscious didn't want to do as there was suppose to be nothing for Tad to step with. After Tad had successfully walked half the rung-way on his own without Bill assistance, the blond had stepped back and watched and Tad went through the exercise of walking back and forth.

"I never thought walking would be this hard." Tad called over to the blond who had spaced out, he was currently resting on one of the rungs, slightly out of breath from walking for nearly three hours straight.

"It should get easier in time, and if it doesn't, we can make a deal with the devil to get you healed up!" Bill exclaimed with a joyous grin.

"Why didn't we make a deal in the first place?" Tad muttered as he moved to start walking again.

"Because you're strong enough to get through this." Bill muttered in return as he pulled his full attention to the brunet walking, ready to intervene if he slips or anything.

* * *

It was another couple hours before they headed back to the house with Bill supporting Tad on the walk back. When they entered, Old man McGuckget informed them of a bedroom down the hall that Tad could stay in while he's recovering. Bill walks Tad to the room and leaves him on the bed before heading out to talk to the old man about how much all this would cost. Bill loved Tad and would spend their entire haul to get him better, but he'd like to know if he can afford it first, if he can't then he has some pillaging and slaughtering to do.

Tad was left alone in the cold dark room. The brunet curled up on the bed and shut his eyes against the voices that had been speaking all day. Negating his progress, insulting him, making him feel like shit. Although if Tad was honest it was 'voice' not 'voices'. While he heard take on different sounds it was still the same voice, it was still his voice, his thoughts. No matter if it sounded like Bill or Pyronica, it was only his thoughts. And perhaps that's what terrified Tad the most. That he thought of himself as such. As a fuck up. As a broken human being. As a gimp. As someone, Bill wouldn't want around. Someone who Bill _wouldn't_ keep around once he realized what Tad was. 

But why wouldn't Bill want him around if he found out? What would be the point of kicking Tad out for _that_ ? It just means Bill gets any Tad would've gotten. _'But you're still broken.' 'You're still worthless.' 'Why wouldn't Bill kick you out?' 'You're nothing but a broken human being who can't walk on his own.'_ Tad grabbed the pillow and wrapped it around his head as if it would shut up the voice that had started to sound like Bill. "Shut up," he muttered, vainly hoping the voice would stop. It wouldn't. _' You're probably the worst pirate in the history of the world.' 'Why would ANYONE stay with you?' 'You don't deserve ANYTHING.' 'You should just die'_ Tad froze as the voice mimicked Bill's to the point Tad couldn't even tell if it was just the voice or if Bill had come back. _'I mean you're such a burden. We're going to be sitting in this backwater town for a_ month _, maybe longer, all because you couldn't keep your leg. Have you any idea how much gold we're wasting on you? We'd be better off if you would just sink to the bottom of the sea.'_ Tad was having difficulties holding back his tears. He hadn't cried this much since he was a child, but something about hearing these things from his crew's voices, from Bill's specifically. It hurt. They were his family. He loved them. To hear such things in their voices... Tad couldn't take much more before he was wholly bawling his eyes out. 

* * *

Tad grew quieter during the hours of the day when he and Bill would practice walking. He stopped responding to Bill's comment with deadpan, snark or sass. Less than a week passed before Tad stopped talking to Bill altogether, a day later he stopped walking earlier in the day and refused to walk for more than three hours the next day.

Bill was, of course, _extremely_ concerned. He had _never_ seen Tad act like this. The man was ten times more stubborn than he was, why on earth would he decide to stop walking every day?! 

First, the blonde asked the old man who apparently forgot he was even harbouring an injured pirate. Then Bill prepared himself for talking to Tad. The man could be stubborn, but Bill could, hopefully, be more stubborn.

Bill knocked on Tad's door with care, when he garnered no response, he knocked louder. When there was no response to that, Bill simply opened the door. The blond took in the sight with confusion, Tad was curled up on the bed, not even under the blanket, a pillow wrapped around his head and was facing the wall. "Tad?" Bill asked, as he walked into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Shut up." Was the only response he got.

"Tad," Bill said, walking towards his friend and touching him softly on the shoulder causing the brunet to flinch and whip his head back to look at the blond. Bill widened his eyes as he saw Tad's bloodshot eyes and tears. "What's wrong?" Bill asked, sitting down on Tad's bed initiating mother hen mode. 

"Nothing. Leave me alone." Tad mumbled curling up in the ball he was previously in.

"No. You're acting differently. You're not you." Bill stated with affirmability, keeping his hand on Tad's shoulder.

"I'm missing my leg, Bill. I'm allowed to be upset and not act like my normal self. Stop being stupidly selfish and get out of my face." Tad ordered, not looking back at the blond. 

"Oh, I'm stupid now? Well, I shall be stupid and not understand a word you just said. " Bill claimed, staying where he was.

"Bill. Go away." Tad demanded.

"Lay down? Love to." Bill suggested instead, laying down and remaining was such despite the immediate elbow to the stomach he got. Bill didn't speak more and neither did Tad, figuring that Bill wouldn't leave no matter what. Bill spoke up after a few moments of silence. "Everyone is loving the little vacation they're getting. Keyhole has found lore book galore, Xanthar entered a strongman competition and made friends, Hector has found some new minimalistic recipes that apparently taste great. Teeth and Kryptos have apparently camped out in the forest east of here and are looking at all the wonderful plant life. Paci and Pyronica decided to go on a hike and somehow got lost, 8-ball went after them but no one has heard back from those three yet. Maybe they found some molepeople and Pyronica was made their queen." Bill said, looking at the ceiling as Tad shifts around the bed, uncurling from his tight ball but still not facing the blond and the pillow tightly secured around his head. Bill let the silence draw out, determined to make Tad talk next.

It felt like an hour had passed before Tad quietly croaked "Bill. Why are you here?"

"You're my brother Tad. I'd be a shitty family if I let you go through this alone." 

"But- You don't have to stay. You're wasting your and the crews time by staying here." Tad stated with certainty in a soft voice.

Bill snorted in response "No I'm not. I enjoy helping you get better Square, and were you not listening? Everyone loves staying here. Well, love is a strong word. It's nice to be somewhere where we don't have to worry about our identities or the law. The others can do what they want without worry of royal guards catching and killing us. "

"But what about the money you're wasting?"

"It's not waste if it helps you get better. And this is better than booze."

Tad remained quiet after that and Bill didn't add anything. The blond watched the sun from the window until he couldn't see it anymore, still, no words were exchanged, but even Bill could tell when he shouldn't make a joke. Most of the times.

The sky was darkening by the time Tad spoke to Bill again. "I know why the sirens song didn't affect me." 

"Oh? why?" Bill asked, genuinely curious. It'd help to know if they ever encounter such creatures again.

"I read a bit more in Keyhole's book. The song plays on sexual desire." Tad stopped speaking after that, not speaking for several long minutes. "I don't have any." He finally adds in a barely audible whisper.

"Any what?" Bill asked, looking over at the pillow covering Tad's head with confusion.

It was a while before Tad responded again, and Bill could see him tense up as he said "any sexual desire. I don't like sex, or desire it."

"Really?" Bill asks, propping himself up on his elbows so he can see Tad a bit better. The blond could make out a nod before he plopped himself back down on the bed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I've been such a fucking ass. No wonder you don't like going to taverns with me. I wouldn't either. Holy fuck I would've broken my bones." Bill seemed far more pissed off at himself than at Tad. 

After more frustrated muttering aimed at Bill from Bill, Tad turned around to look at his brother with curiosity and confusion. "You don't hate me?" Tad asked quietly and Bill stopped his mumbles and looked over, shifting so he was on his side as well. 

"You're my brother. I could never hate you." Bill stated,as he pulled Tad against his chest and resting his chin on the back of the brunet's head. "I'm more annoyed at the fact you never mentioned it before. I never would've goaded you into having sex with anyone if I knew." Bill paused for a bit before speaking again. "Is this why you've been so quiet?" 

Tad nodded against Bill's chest, trying his hardest not to cry with relief. "I-I thought you might hate me for lying. For not telling you. You'd be upset. " Tad choked back a sob in the middle of his phrase. 

"Tad, I could never and will never hate you. I would rather cut out my own eye, rip out my heart than hate you. I love you and will never leave you. And I will never let you deal with something on your own. " 

Tad let tears fall from his eyes and started to sob into Bill's chest. It's not perfect. The voice won't stop. Bill doesn't know everything that goes on in Tad's head and never will, but Tad can't help but feel safe. Wonderfully and peacefully safe. And that all he needs right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I claim no knowledge of prosthetics or amputation or any of that jazz. I tried looking it up and I don't really get on topic results of "Is it painful to walk with a prosthetic?" "How long does it take for you to be able to walk?" or any of that so I'm really sorry if any of it is horribly wrong, feel free to tell me if something is wrong and whatnot, either in the comments or on my tumblr which was mentioned a couple chapters ago.


	10. Moving Day, featuring assault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets a pet, gets pet, and so desperately wishes he could punch the prince.

Dipper wasn't entirely sure where he was, he had just wandered around in a daze after seeing the unicorn and having the baby subsequently follow him everywhere. The brunet stopped and turned around to face the tiny unicorn, "Stop. Following. ME." Dipper ordered in a stern voice.

The unicorn laid down and stayed put as Dipper walked backwards away from it. However, once the brunet had turned around, the baby was up and chasing after him.

Dipper groaned and looked at the sky, then whined when he realised how late it was getting.

"Shit, I have to be back soon." Dipper muttered and looked around, trying to find _something_ that was familiar. Thankfully he did, in the form of a triangle statue with hands, with one held out as if shaking anothers. The hand pointed north and the statue was south of his home, so all Dipper had to do was follow the line of the hand and he should come upon his home soon enough. Paying no mind to the unicorn behind him, Dipper walked along the unbeaten path towards where he believed his home was.

* * *

Dipper appeared in the back garden close to sun down with a baby unicorn on his heels.

"You're really not going to leave me alone, are you?" Dipper whined, looking down at the baby in defeat. Mabel would take one look at it and decide they're keeping it. Forever.

Dipper sighed at the lack of response, not that he was expecting one, and headed into his house, knowing he'd have some explaining to do.

* * *

Ford had not been happy. Then again, he was never happy, but he was more so when Dipper reappeared, cuts and scrapes marring his body, his clothes torn up, and unidentifiable substances in his hair. Stan was also not happy, he had been grumbling about how much it'd cost to get Dippers clothes fixed and cleaned for the better part of the hour the brunet had been home. The only one who had seemed happy at Dippers return was Mabel, and he's pretty sure that that was only because he brought home a unicorn with him.

"Dipper, you must stop this sort of behavior. You're going to be moving in with the prince tomorrow, do you think he'd appreciate this sort of lunicy?" Ford asked, crossing his arms with a frown.

 _'Yes, I think he would. Considering he found me running away from him endearing.'_ Dipper didn't say the first sentence that came to his head, instead he just shook a negative and said "No, he wouldn't," in a low quiet tone.

After a lengthy lecture from Ford, Dipper was sent off to bed without food, like a disobedient child.

* * *

Dipper groaned when he woke up.

He was starting to wish he'd taken those gnomes up on their offer to be their queen. At least then he'd be in the forest surrounded by things he liked, or didn't, like drowning in a tar pit.

The brunet got up and noticed several things immediately. His clothing was laid out for him, his room was packed up, and he was _not_ alone in his room, or his bed. Dipper more or less jumped out and, started blinking rapidly to get the blurryness of sleep out of his eyes so he could see just _who_ invaded his personal space.

Of course seeing who it was didn't make Dipper feel anymore consoled.

"My lord, I apologize, you startled me." Dipper says in a polite, but grogy tone, looking at the bedspread rather than the snowy prince.

"Oh it's no problem my darling, I did come in your room while you were asleep. I should be glad that you have such a reaction to someone strange being in your room. Now that your awake, sweetheart, why don't you get dressed and I'll have my guards take the rest of your belongings to the castle." Gideon handed Dipper his clothing but made no move to leave the bedroom, or shut the door.

"Of course. Considering your men will be here soon, I'll go change in the lavratory. " Dipper was already backing up slightly to leave, and when he saw Gideon open his mouth with a protesting look on his face, the brunet quickly added, "I wouldn't want others seeing me nude, it's absolutely unacceptable." Dipper said with a fake smile before dashing into the bathroom to change clothes.

After several minutes of calming himself down and going through he normal morning routine save for washing considering there was nothing to wash with, Dipper emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed, to a bare room with only the Prince in it.

"My lord." Dipper bowed before walking over to the prince.

"Darling, you'll be riding with me back to castle. I'll show you around, then we can get you cleaned up and looking like royalty should. ", Gideon said with joy and offered his arm to the brunet, which Dipper reluctantly took, fighting back a grimance. Dipper really wished he could punch the prince. It would make everything feel better.

* * *

It took awhile to get to the castle, long enough that Dipper and Gideon were ushered into the dining room for lunch before being set loose on the castle grounds.

Dipper had grinned and beared it when Gideon decided to start off the tour by going through a hall of paintings and telling the stories of each and every former King.

"-King Cipher, last of his line. He never had any children and his entire family was murdered brutally by invaders. My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand uncle was his most trusted advisor and was given the crown when he mysteriously died on his throne, the same one that remains in the throne room.- "

Gideon went on about the throne, what it was  made from and crap like that, but Dippers attention was solely on the painting. It was his only solace from the hell that was Gideon. It was of a darkskinned man with bright yellow eyes, dressed in bright gold attire, his hair was oddly two colours, yellow and brown. To his left was a man in similar attire, but his were coloured a deep violet or navy. His eyes were, oddly enough, also violet and his hair seemed to be a rather eggplant colour.

"- To his left is Cipher's friend, Count Strange, some believe they were brothers, others lovers. He died the same night King Cipher did, however he fell off the roof of the castle,  as he and Cipher were known to do for fun. Some people thought they were demons, others worshipped them like gods." Gideon moved to the next painting, waiting for Dipper to follow before launching into the first of the long line of Gleefuls and what he did.

Dipper was being shown around a rather empty wing of the castle, there were decorations galore, but it was strangely devoid of people.

"My lord, as much as I'm loving the tour, there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for me to know this part of the castle." Dipper said, looking at the prince with as polite a smile as he could manage.

"Oh I know that my dear, I just wanted some alone time with you, I highly doubt we'll get the chance to be alone again once the courting starts. Why would you look at this!" Gideon exclaimed, looking at a painting Dipper couldn't see.

Against his better judgement, Dipper walked over to the Prince to look at the painting.

It was another of King Cipher, but this time the man appeared to be asleep and had someone on top of him. If Dipper had to guess, the pair were probably posing before falling asleep if their attire was anything to go by. King Cipher was dressed in black slacked with a brick pattern outlined in gold throughout them, wearing most likely uncomfortable pointy black shoes, a golden vest with a brick pattern outlined in black and a black dress shirt. The person on top of him face was buried in the Kings vest, but he was dressed in similar attire, except rather than gold and bricks, his vest was blue with little pine trees spotted throughout it while the rest of his outfit was entirely black.

Dipper squinted to see if there was anything on the unknown mans slacks when he felt a hand grip his butt, causing him to instantly jump.

Dipper relaxed and looked over at Gideon who seemed engrossed in the painting, for reasons Dipper didn't know nor care about.

Dipper shifted and walked a bit away to look at a vase, as casually as one could make looking at a vase.

"Do you like it my love?" Gideon asked standing next to the brunet and rubbing the others backside again.

"It's beautiful, my lord," Dipper commented, reaching behind him to grab Gideon's hand in his own, just to remove it from his arse, "but as much as I love this tour, it is becoming rather tiring, I was wondering if you could show me where my rooms are?" Dipper asked with a gentle smile, trying not to grimance.

Gideon shifted his grip in Dipper's hand so he could hold on more tightly and said he'd love to as if he had just won the lottery. Dipper tried not to audibly groan as he was taken away from the abandoned wing.

* * *

The rooms were more lavish than Dipper could take comfort in. The bed was too soft, the wallpapers too detailed. There was also too much decoration.

The walls were covered in paintings of seas and ships mid-sail. They were so detailed that he could almost see the wind push the ships through the sapphire waves.

Plush, sky colored pillows, laceded with gold trim and ruffles, polluted the bed so only one third was visible. The slight amount of visible comforter resembled the pillows pattern of gold and sky. The large canopy, above the bed, did a lot to the dramatic bed. It was detailed in multiple carvings of flowers and waves, painted gold and blue to mach the walls and furniture.

The small sitting area was populated by four plush arm chairs and two love seats, circled around a marble coffe table. Their colors matched the bed and the walls, and the legs and arms were carved with the same flowers and waves of the bed's canopy. 

The whole room sat atop of a plush, floral print carpet styled in various shades of blue and gold. Three large windows, framed in copious amounts of blue and gold drapery, let in a tourent of sunlight.

To most it appeared to be a room for for a prince, but to Dipper it appeared as a lavishly obnoxious prison cell.

Noticing the slightly ajar door opposite of him, Dipper could see an equally as obnoxious bathroom, decorated with silver and navy instead of gold and sky.

The room was just a cage for him when he wasn't needed. Like a song bird ripped from its nest and caged for the enjoyment of humans, Dipper was trapped.

Closing the drapes, Dipper heard a knock from his door.

"Come in", he mumbled fearing that the guest would be his 'charming' prince.

"Master Pines, dinner will be served in one hour. I have been sent to tell you to get dressed in proper attire. His Royal Highness will be here to accompany you to dinner in half an hour.", the butler said before quickly leaving the room.

Reluctantly, Dipper walked to the wardrobe and pulled out proper dinner attire. But as a slight rebellion, he chose red atire, to combat the blue of his rooms, which he strongly suspected that Gideon had something to do with, since that was the first color he had seen Dipper in.

Dressing quickly, Dipper stoped once he had to put on his brooch. He looked down at the pine shaped jewel Mabel had given him. It's sapphire color contrasted too much with the red attire he currently wore. He set it down on the vanity next to him and checked the clock.

He had two minutes untill his prince was due to arrive. 'Not enough time to do any reading', Dipper thought solumly.

He heard three lound knocks on his door. He hated the feeling of dread he got the moment he heard those knocks.

Unfortunately, this was to be his present and future life. He stood up and reached for the door handle.

He was already sinking in the pits of hell, all he could do now was sink to the bottom and pray for a savior.

But no one was coming for Dipper. 

Not yet, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This was three days late... Sorry guys life has been pretty busy lately. See ya on the 16th! Bye!!  
> \- Ashes101
> 
> P.s. if you guys draw any fan art feel free to tag us!!


	11. Pirate playmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bill does something he shouldn't, visits a place he doesn't understand, and is expectedly popular with children and old women

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything that's in Spanish is in italics and I used google translate for it so expect mistakes if you speak or read spanish. The translation to everything that's said will be in order at the end of the chapter Sorry, thanks.
> 
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> 
> I'd like to apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I don't know why but this chapter was very hard to write (I jjust didn't have any drive? idk), anyway thank you for being patient with me, enjoy.

Bill was starting to think Tad had a point when he said Bill shouldn't wander around the island alone.

Apparently, despite not looking it, the island had a second city on the other side that spoke a language Bill did not know.

Bill squinted at the sign in the door, trying to see if he could make heads or tails of what it said.

Regrettably, it made just as much sense as the last few. Bill sighed and continued strolling through the town, the sun was dipping fairly low, not enough to be considered sunset, but low enough that Bill would really like to find his way back to Fiddleford's or at least an inn in the town that spoke English.

Bill grumbled and then sat down by the path, out of the way enough no one would get mad at him, but not against a house.

He crossed his legs and looked up at the sky, in his curiosity Bill had gotten lost within the village and forgotten where he'd came in, and with the threat of night looming he'd prefer not to wander through the forest trying to find his way back, almost stepping on a chimera's tail on his way there was more than enough reason to not wander through when it was actually awake.

Bill let his head hang down his eyes closing after he got a glimpse of his lap. The blond immediately reopened his eyes and stared down at the brunette child currently seated in his lap and attempting to touch his face.

Bill couldn't find the words to question the child, he blinked several times then smiled when the young girl cheered happily after successfully petting the part of his hair hanging in front of his face.

The little girl jumped off his lap and ran over to a thin alley on the other side, Bill could hear what she was semi-shouting.

 _"Venga! Venga! Es Seguro, ven!"_ She repeated the words several times before reaching into the darkened alleyway and yanking an older boy out of it and dragging him across the path.

 _"Pregúntale que es bueno"_ the girl said shoving the boy with her shoulder playfully.

 _"Tú pregúntale "_ the boy shot back clearly nervous.

 _"Podemos tocarte?"_ the young girl asked.

Bill looked at the pair in confusion, having no clue what either of them just said but knowing that last part was directed at him.

After a moment of both of them looking nervous, Bill hesitantly nodded and both children run up to him, the girl catapulting herself into his lap again while the boy was more hesitant and sat down beside Bill and tentatively reached a hand up to touch Bill's face.

The blond Captain leaned down a bit to let the boy be able to touch his face easier. The boy happily smiled as he poked and caressed Bill's face. The little girl giggled happily and reached up to try to touch Bill's eye causing him to lean away.

"Let's not touch that." Bill muttered, smiling down at the pair of children, and moving the girls hand away from his eye.

The girl pouted and the boy looked over at her while he spoke, _"No le gustaría que alguien intentara tocar su ojo."_

The girl merely stuck her tongue out at him for whatever he said, then looked at the sky and gasped.

 _" Tenemos que llegar a casa."_ She hoped off Bill's lap and pulled at the boy's arm, causing him to stumble in standing. He dug his feet in before she could drag him away.

 _"Deberías venir a casa con nosotros, nuestra abuela estaría feliz de darte de comer. "_ The boy said, facing Bill.

"I have no clue what you just said, kid." Bill stated hands up. The pair of children look at each other before grabbing the blond's hands and pulling him in the direction they were going.

"Hey, hey hey!" Bill shouted, a bit louder than he intended as he attempted to stand before the kids could drag him away on his back.

The children, of course, paid no mind to Bill and continued to pull him, causing the blond to trip and land on his back. Bill groaned and pouted before the children resumed pulling him on his back.

 _'Why do I bother?'_ Bill thought with a sigh as he let himself be dragged through the town, smiling at any adult who looked down at him with varying degrees of curiosity and amusement.

Bill guessed it took roughly an hour to get to the children's home, probably longer than usual as a kid decided Bill would be a nice ride and hopped on his chest.

 _"Abuela, estamos en casa!"_ the children call in unison.

 _"Hijos, me alegra que lo hayas hecho en casa con seguridad"_ a soft voice called, the owner stepping out of what Bill presumes is the kitchen from what he could see from his place on the floor.

 _"Trajo a casa a un amigo?"_ The small old graying woman asked as if it was completely normal for her young children to bring home a grown man.

 _"No tenía ningún otro lugar para ir, abuela."_ The young boy explained rather sheepishly, shuffling his feet.

 _"¿Te dijo eso?"_ The old woman asked.

 _"El no entiende."_ The boy mumbled.

 _"Pero tiene hambre"_ The girl added happily.

 _"Entonces le daremos de comer. Pero no traer a los extranjeros a casa sin su consentimiento, es grosero. "_ The lady said, _"Ahora vete a lavar."_

The woman dismissed, waving the children to a different room. The pair leave Bill all alone on the floor, while the woman went back to the kitchen.

* * *

Tad groaned as he had to lean against a tree again. It had been _hours_ since Bill had decided to wander off into to the unknown.

The brunet grumbled about moronic captains while he rested. Tad rubbed his leg before standing and beginning to walk again.

Tad did not enjoy the forest. He did not enjoy chasing after moronic blondes who think they're so important that they can just do whatever they want without consequence.

'Maybe he was trying to get away from you so that he could leave.'

Tad misstepped at the sudden voice and ended up collapsing on the ground.

"If Bill wanted to leave he would've headed toward the town, not away from it." He mumbled to himself before picking himself up and attempting to walk again, only to find he had a limp worse than before.

"Note to self, murder Bill after finding him." Tad muttered before continuing to limp towards where he hoped Bill had gone.

* * *

Tad looked worse for wear when he entered the small little town,having fallen down several more times and almost getting attacked by a chimera.

It was well past nightfall, and few people were around but Bill stood out so much in the town the three adults he was able to find easily told him where Bill was.

Tad limped to the brown house and knocked on the door, picking a leaf or two off of his clothes, a small grayed woman answered the door.

 _"Sí?"_ The old lady asked, looking up at Tad.

 _"Estoy buscando un niño grande."_ Tad started, having figured what language the people in the village spoke, _"Pelo amarillo, ojos azules, probablemente haciendo pucheros."_

 _"Ah, sí, sí, estamos cenando por favor únase a nosotros."_ The woman said, more or less dragging Tad into the home and to the dining room where Bill was sitting on the ground with two young children pressed up against him, chattering happily in Spanish.

"Do you understand a thing they're saying?" Tad asked when the old woman left to get him a serving of whatever they're eating.

"No, do you?" Bill asked, turning to look at his friend and snorted.

"What happened to you? Wait did you walk here? Tad, you could've seriously damaged your leg and set yourself months maybe years back." Bill was standing and in full mother hen mode.

"Bill, you're the one who decided to traipse around the forest and not tell anyone or be back before nightfall." Tad crossed his arms, already so done with this argument.

"Right, whatever, let's go." Bill started to walk past Tad when the brunet stopped him and pushed him back.

"No, no, we're staying longer. I just walked four miles, Bill, let me rest before we go get chased by an arachnimorph all the way back to the ship", Tad asserted, letting the children drag Bill down and started chattering at him again.

The old lady returned and pushed a plate into Tad's hands and gestured towards one of the chairs in the room.

 _"Sentas."_ She said, pushing him slightly before sitting down in the other chair by herself.

Tad sat down and started eating while watching Bill interact with the young children.

 _"Él es como un niño pequeño mismo."_ The old woman said, gesturing to Bill.

 _"¿Más de lo que sabes, señorita ...?"_ Tad trailed off, looking at the woman questioningly.

 _" Puedes llamarme Abuelita joven."_ The woman, Abuelita, stated, patting Tad's knee. _"¿Tiene alguno de los suyos?"_

 _"¿Niños?"_ Tad asked, waiting for Abuelita's nod before continuing, _"No gracias a dios."_

 _"Mmmm, bueno, sería un padre terrible."_ Abuelita said shaking her head with a little chuckle before adding, _"Gran tío, padre terrible."_

Tad and Abuelita continued talking about Bill and the children bugging Bill until Abuelita called them to bed and Bill and Tad went on their way.

* * *

"Why did you come looking for me? I mean it would've been simpler to wait for me to wander back on my own and you wouldn't have damaged your leg terribly." Bill asked, looking over at the man who he was supporting on their walk back to Mcguckets.

"Pyronica wants us to head back to the capital. Apparently, the prince is getting married or some bullshit and we're needed there." Tad said, limping along with Bill.

"Since when do we take orders from Pyro?" Bill asked, leading them to a route that wouldn't involve fighting a monster that would most likely kill them both.

"Since you decided to take a trip. And started obsessing over your mysterious 'Pine Tree' " Tad supplied, allowing the change in route.

Bill shrugs his agreement and then nodded, "Let's set sail when the sun rises."

* * *

After dealing with Mcgucket throwing a fit over Tad's leg not being complete and them taking it anyway since all that was left were the modifications no one had asked for, the pair were in town and headed towards _Triangulum Bestia_. Having already prepared the ship, they were able to immediately set sail pending the pair's boarding.

* * *

"Didn't you miss it?" Bill asked, turning to face Tad behind him.

"No, I now have to relearn how to walk and climb while on the sea. Have I ever told you how much I hate you?" Tad asked, leaning against the mast and holding onto the rope encircling it to stay on his feet.

"Aw, love you too Taddy. Ready to run from palace guards and fight badass sea battles?" Bill asked, turning around and climbing the steps to reach the bow.

"I was never not." Tad said, causing Bill to turn around with a raised eyebrow, "I've been with you my entire life Bill if I was ever not prepared to face life or death situations, I'd be dead. As would you."

Bill grinned in return and turned to face to open ocean as they head toward the Royal Ports. "I can't wait to see Pine Tree again.

"Please tell me you'll go in and get some rest and not just sit out here waiting. The trip is a couple weeks if the weathers shitty which it most certainly will be due to the luck we've been having." Tad said, then whistled to get Xanthar's attention so he could go below deck to assist Keyhole. While Tad was pretty good at walking on land, he had some issues with walking on the ship.

"Of course I will, you know me!"

"All too well I'm afraid." Tad muttered and Xanthar came over to assist and then shouted to the crows nest, "Pyra! Would you mind confining the captain to his chamber if he remains outside past next dawn?"

"Loved to~" Came Pyronica's happy reply.

"Evil landlubbers!" Was Bill's only response to the exchange, or the only one Tad heard as Xanthar assisted him to below deck.

Maybe things would get better.

_Or Maybe they're heading to the Royal Ports to hand you over to the guard for your bounty._

Tad really hated how much time he spent considering those words before dismissing them as untrue.

His inner voice may be an asshole, but what it suggests sounds believable enough, and all he has to combat it is his faith in Bill.

And even that was waning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Venga! Venga! Es Seguro, ven! - Come on! Come on! It's Safe, come!  
> Pregúntale que es bueno. - Ask him, he's nice.  
> Tú pregúntale. - You ask him.  
> Podemos tocarte? - Can we touch you?  
> No le gustaría que alguien intentara tocar su ojo. - You wouldn't like it if someone tried to touch your eye  
> Tenemos que llegar a casa. - We have to get home  
> Deberías venir a casa con nosotros, nuestra abuela estaría feliz de darte de comer. - You should come home with us, our grandma would be happy to feed you  
> Abuela, estamos en casa! - Grandma we're home!  
> Hijos, me alegra que lo hayas hecho en casa con seguridad. - Children, I'm glad you got home safely  
> Trajo a casa a un amigo? - Brought home a friend?  
> No tenía ningún otro lugar para ir, abuela. - He had no other place to go, Grandma  
> ¿Te dijo eso? - Did he tell you that?  
> El no entiende. - He doesn't understand  
> Pero tiene hambre - But he's hungry  
> Entonces le daremos de comer. Pero no traer a los extranjeros a casa sin su consentimiento, es grosero. - The we'll feed him. But don't bring strangers home without their consent, it's rude.  
> Ahora vete a lavar. - now go wash up  
> Estoy buscando un niño grande. - I'm looking for a large manchild  
> Pelo amarillo, ojos azules, probablemente haciendo pucheros - yellow hair, blue eyes, probably pouting  
> Ah, sí, sí, estamos cenando por favor únase a nosotros. - ah, yes, yes, we are having supper please join us.  
> Él es como un niño pequeño mismo. - he is like a young child  
> ¿Más de lo que sabes, señorita ...? - More than you know, miss ...?  
> Puedes llamarme Abuelita joven - You can call me Granny young man  
> ¿Tiene alguno de los suyos? -does he have any of his own?  
> ¿Niños? No gracias a dios - children? no thank god  
> Mmmm, bueno, sería un padre terrible. Gran tío, padre terrible. - Mmmm, good thing, he wouold be a terrible parent. Great uncle, terrible father.


	12. My condolences darling.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set a week before last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is quite late and that this is fairly unedited (to my knowledge)

The day was wrong to start with.

The sky had turned into a miserable child and let out tears to cover the ground. There was an intense anxiety to the rain, as if between the tumbling clouds and the earth, it was fearful of something undefined.

That day Dipper had not been woken at six in the morning for breakfast and etiquette training, he was completely left alone. He woke to a tray of breakfast and juice on his bedside table, and the knocking of rain on his window pane.

The room was silent and shadowed by the lack of candlelight and dark, cloudy skies.

He sat up from his lavish sheets and stepped to his window. Looking around the castle gardens, he could see that he would not be allowed to leave the indoors today, too much of a chance that he would get injured.

He watched the petals of the dying roses blow away from their homes, leaving green hedges behind. The wind had pushed over the gazebos and blew the fountain waters off course.

Not a single rabbit or blue bird dared to look out of their shelters, in fear of the rough wind throwing them about. The horse stables were locked up tight, not leaving any window open for the storm to creep in.

Moving to his bedside, Dipper grabbed his breakfast and sat down in a plush armchair. Leisurely, he sipped his juice and munched on the croissant, gazing at the torrent outside.

Gideon had officialy proposed the day prior and like a good little great-nephew, Dipper was forced to accept.

Least to say, Dipper had excused himself from dinner last night and had spent the entire evening sobbing in his rooms.

Slowly finishing up his silent breakfast, Dipper turned to his wardrobe to prepare for the day.

* * *

Dressed in crimson and face washed, he waltzed out of his room, to the quiet corridor awaiting him.

Turning to look at the time, he noted that he was an hour ahead of the usual time he would usual leave his rooms, to spend in the library, for his daily history lessons.

Choosing to explore instead of awaiting the tutor's arrival, Dipper strutted off to the abandoned wing of the castle.

Passing the scornful eyes of the past kings, Dipper reached a red door. It looked burned and the hinges were slightly rusted. Perfect to explore, it obviously had not been touched in nearly fifty years.

Turning the handle, it went taught. The lock refused to allow any to enter. Trying again, Dipper was met with the same reaction.

Opting to stop his insanity, Dipper took one last look at the door before turning to meet his tutor in the library.

* * *

The library was silent and freezing.

Dipper hardly listened to the history lesson. He'd probably regret that choice in the future but could find no reason to care.

Quietly, his tutor ended the lesson and told him to finish reading the chapter, before retreating from the library.

Standing, closing his books, and putting away his quills, Dipper walked to the library's massive windows.

The rain fell softly now. The child had cried out as much as it could and now, worn down to the point of exhaustion, only released a small trickle of tears to hit the earth and made no noise of tantrum.

The sky was grey and somber as if it were accepting its own death.

Bored by the silence and shadows, Dipper walked to the library's back door. Shoving it open, he trotted out into the soggy grounds and sprinkling skies.

At first he walked aimlessly, then he remembered a certain runaway was being housed in the royal stables.

It was time to pay a visit to a little delinquent.

* * *

Opening a door to the stables, Dipper was hit with the smell of straw and oats.

Quietly, he shut the door behind him and began his long walk to the last of the forty stalls, in this wing of the stables.

Passing through the warm glow of candlelight, Dipper watches the beasts that resided in the royal stables.

The horses were, as Gideon described, 'sleek beauties with supple coat that hang majestically on their frames and possessed flowing manes that unfurl and whips as the wind calls.'

But to Dipper, they appeared to be aggressive beasts, with muscles almost ripping open their taught black coats, that could snarl and hiss like wolves and mountain lions. They were formidable beasts for anyone.

Quickly passing by the homes of the monsters, Dipper made it to the stall housing the baby unicorn.

"Hey there, little one." Dipper cooed, kneeling down beside the small white mass as it startled awake.

"Sorry I haven't been by recently, I have been busy getting courted and whatnot. " The baby shuffled closer, nestling Dipper's leg with a soft neigh. Dipper reached out and lightly pet the small creature.

"Still haven't figured out how to walk yet?" Dipper asked, looking around the mostly unused. The baby shifted closer to Dipper, meaning, no it had not learned to walk. Dipper sighed and stood up, "Come on, let's try."

The small Unicorn chuffed as if bothered by the mention of having to do something, but shifted and slowly stood up. Standing, the unicorn took a step forward, then another, and when it tried to move it's back leg, the poor creature slid and all it's leg spread out like a starfish. The small one chuffed again and did it's best to glare at Dipper.

"Ya'know, you followed me all the way back to my house, how can you not get it now? The forest floor must've been ten times harder to walk on." Dipper stated, crossing his arms while the unicron stood up again. The baby chuffed again and scratched the hard, smooth, floor with it's hoof. "The floor is too slick? But you walked on the rocks." Dipper asked, confused. The unicorn shook it's head and attempted to walk once again.

For a while Dipper and the Unicorn practiced walking and playing around in general, however the fun was cut short.

"Master Pines, you are required in the palace to speak on the recent proposal." A posh voice stated. Dipper turned around and saw the black and white uniform of one of the many butlers Gideon had employed.

"Of course," Dipper said with barely restrained annoyance, and stood up. The brunet brushed off the hay and left the stall, gesturing for the Unicorn to stay when Dipper tried to leave.

"You have to stay here." Dipper said, the shuting the door slowly behind him with the Unicorn's pleading gaze almost stoping him.

Dipper sighed as he followed the butler into the palace, he wished his life was anything but this. Anything but playing along with the Prince's whims to hopefully keep his head.

But life isn't how one person wants it to be is it?


	13. You will always return to those you love (maybe)

“How's the leg?” Bill asked, walking over to his friend.

“Hurts, but other than that, just peachy. Have a nice rest?” Tad asked, sitting against the mast in the middle of the deck.

“Eh, had better. Pyro has been making sure to avoid all conflicts which is not fun. She claims we need to get there faster than the original two weeks.” Bill complained, collapsing against the mast next to Tad.

“Well, the two weeks were also to account for your shenanigans and fights which have been strangely absent, also we don't have a crew.” Tad stated, raising an eyebrow at Bill as he continued, “you honestly want to attack the navy with the ten of us?”

Bill shrugged “Why not? It'd be fun.”

Tad groaned and hung his head. “No! No it will not be fun! It will be disastrous, everyone will die.”

“But it being disastrous is what makes it fun Tadsy. But if we want a successful raid on the pompadours then I guess we should have everyone.” Bill conceded, looking up at the sapphire sky.

“About that… I don't think I can be much help.” Tad mumbled, looking down at his mechanical leg. Bill looked over then followed Tad’s gaze.

“Listen Taddy,” Bill started, wrapping an arm around the brunet’s shoulders, “you will always be of help. I get that you might not want to go to actual heist, and I agree that it may not be the smartest idea as you are shitty at running, but you are always helpful. After all, who’ll make sure the dock manager person whatever stays away from the ship?”

“Hector?” Tad suggested, seeing as it _was_ the man’s job.

“Eh, Hectors good, but no one can sweet talk someone like you can. Also, you're whole I'm-Mr-Normal thing really makes people like you.” Bill said , shifting closer to the brunet.

“Bill, you're wasting energy and resources looking after me. I can't even help you steal shit.” Tad exclaimed, finally done with dancing around.

“Tadsy, you have always been terrible at running, and you’ll get better as you learn to walk on the boat again. The reason I don't want you coming is the same reason I objected to you coming on raids earlier in our careers. I'm worried. You losing your leg was a direct result of my stupidity and bullshit. Alright, I don't want you to get hurt more from my moroniscity. Besides, who else will identify this beautiful bode if you're dead?” Bill asked with a smirk, gesturing to his bare chest.

“Yeah, why are you shirtless?” Tad asked, gesturing to the general area of his friends chest.

“Because I am beautiful!” Bill exclaimed, puffing out his chest. Tad merely raised an eyebrow at the display.

“Kryptos split animal blood on my shirt.” Bill conceded in a quiet, slightly embarrassed voice.

Tad couldn't help it, the picture of Kryptos spilling blood on Bill and then the probably aftermath of it made the brunet start to laugh.

“Yeah yeah laugh it up.” Bill grumbled, before locking Tad in a loose headlock and giving him  
a noogie.

Tad continued laughing through the friendly assault. Things weren't so bad.

* * *

Things were the shittiest they've ever been. 

Tad had been cooped up beneath deck for the day, and he was not happy. Normally he was content with below deck work, but his leg kept cramping up and no one on board was especially skilled in mechanics so it was all guess work on why his leg acted up the way it did. While below deck was better than above (no threat of Tad falling off and no dealing with a currently pantless Bill) Tad was tired of it and prepared to gouge Bill’s eyes out for even suggesting putting the brunet in charge of their inventory.

It's not _that_ bad. It's not the listing and accounting for things that had Tad in such a mood. It was the little voice in his head telling him that he was only down there so the others could plot about what to do with him when they get to port.

He was scared that they were talking about ways to get rid of him or collect the bounty on his head.

_They don't care about you. They care about the money you’ll provide once we reach shore. They’ll sell you out._

“No, fuck, no” Tad muttered to himself, checking over their food for the tenth time.

“You okay Tadsy?” Bill asked, coming down the steps.

“Yeah! Just recounting the food.” Tad shouted back, looking busy while Bill stood on the steps for a while longer before running to the deck.

_they don’t care about you. They care that you maintain what they want you to be. They’ll sell you to a guard the minute you're not okay._

Tad gripped the edge of one of the containers, knuckles turning white as he fell to his knee, trying not to cry.

* * *

“How much longer til we get to port?” Bill asked, returning from his venture to below deck.

“Several days, five at most. After Keyhole found that short cut we’re making better time than ever! So what's the plan for the raid? Go in guns a blazing?”  
Pyronica asked, looking over at the blond captain.

“No, I'd prefer to make a battle plan once we know more about it. We need to know what security they have, how tight it is, who's going to be there, all of it. Right now, it'd be better to do a simple snatch and grab. We sneak in with the guests and swipe.” Bill said, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“Like common pickpockets?” Kryptos asked, sounding appalled and was probably going to say more but Pyronica held up her hand.

“You okay Cap?” She asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, just worried, concerned, all that bullshit. And yes we’re doing this like common pickpockets. Tad was right. There's only ten of us, nine since Hectorgon is staying at the ship and making sure no one interferes. A raid would be unsuccessful.” Bill sighed, before glancing over at Pyronica, “Unless there's an island on the way that would allow us to pick up a crew large enough to conduct a successful raid with minimal casualties that our short cut would allow us to reach Gravity Falls by the time of the ball.”

“There's a port two days away, we can reach it and get back on course with another two, we can still make it to the ball.” Keyhole said, pointing to a place on their map.

“Alright, make a detour.” Bill said, then turned around as Tad came up to the top deck. “Are we good for supplies?” Bill shouted to the brunet.

“We’re low on fresh water and meat, and some of the fruit is going bad.” Tad said as he walked over to the group.

“Alright, we’ll need to pick that up to.” Bill muttered to himself before turning to Tad who had stopped right beside the blond.

“We’re stopping off in a nearby port to get a crew. We’re going to do a full on raid if we can.”The blonde said with a smile.

“Is that truly a smart idea?” Tad seemed entirely unsure of the entire situation.

 

“Of course it is! It's mine!” Bill declared, smiling proudly.

 

“Yeah, that's what worries me.” Tad muttered shaking his head and a voice inside it rang out “They’re doing this to kill you.”

* * *

“So, why am I up here?” Tad asked, glaring over at the blonde beside him in the crows nest.

 

“Because.” Bill drawled out.

 

“Because why?”

 

“Because I want you to be.”

 

“Why.”

 

“Because I love you?”

 

Tad levelled Bill with a glare, showing him how much that answer meant to him.

 

“I didn't want you to be alone. You're my friend and I don't want you to be lonely.” Bill sounded embarrassed and somewhat ashamed as he mumbled his way through the sentences. 

 

Tad was silent for a while, then “You do realize you’ll have to carry me down, right?”

 

“Legs cramped up?”

 

“Ten minutes ago.”

 

Bill winced and nodded “sorry, didn't think this through.”

 

“Clearly.” Tad said without looking at the blond, merely gazing out at the sea, away from the port they were docked at and the opposite way Bill was looking.

 

“Hey! They're back!” Bill shouted, standing up with a smile.

 

“Bill, I'm right here, shouting is not necessary.” Tad was tired and gaining a headache. Bill had dragged him up there before dawn and it was closing in on sunset.

 

“Sorry, let's go!” Bill exclaimed happily, picking Tad up and shifting him onto the blonde's back before starting the descent down to the deck. The brunet grasped the blond’s back tightly as he was entirely unprepared when Bill picked him up.

 

“So these are the men you could round up?” Bill asked as he let Tad down off his back. The brunet hobbled over to the cabins to get a cane so it’d be easier to walk, as Bill scanned the new recruits.

 

“These are all the ones we could find who didn't mind attacking the palace.” Pyronica said, walking around the group to stand with the blond captain.

 

“Alright.” Bill mumbled with a nod. “Alright!” Bill said louder, gaining the landlubbers’ attention. “Now! I know the others have briefed you lightly on the situation, and our plans. You will be briefed further when we leave port and come up with a successful plan, until then, please follow 8-Ball to the cabins, we’ll introduce everyone important later, for now, anyone who was here before you all, is in charge of you, and should be treated with respect.” Bill announced then waved the group away, all heading down into the cabins below deck for crewmen.

* * *

“So the castle, is situated by the ocean, it has its own docks and everything. The issue is how heavily guarded those docks are. There's round the clock supervision and if they even _suspect_ we’re pirates, they’ll alert the family and put the castle on lockdown. We’ll also have to deal with the Royal Navy at that point.” Bill explained, pointing to an area of the map they had littered with little figurines of both people and ships , “We need to get some people in there and get rid of the guards. Not necessarily the ball but onto the docks before hand so they can take care of the men swiftly.”

 

“I know a couple of our men who would be good at that. “ Pyronica nodded and moved the people aside.

 

“Now the ships shouldn't be a problem, the Gleefuls didn't invite anyone from off the island so there shouldn't be any luxury ships with their own security.” Bill said moving the ships away. “The walls can be taken care of with a little cannon fire, they’re no harder than the ones we normally destroy when raiding palaces. Now we have to leave at least ten men to take care of the ship and anyone coming to attack it. The Navy’s response time is abysmal. It’ll be an hour before they can reach the port and start attacking. So we have to be gone before the hour is up. We have 27 men, including us. Ten have to stay behind, and Pyro will be taking a couple meaning we only have 14 men for this raid. We have to get up the hill, get into the castle and raid it. Find whatever is of value, clothing, jewelry, decorations, whatever. And get out. Get no more than you can carry, and boot it. We don't want to take too long. And sometimes smaller things are more expensive, so make sure to look out for embezzled jewelry or buttons or whatnot. We have three days before we reach Gravity Falls, go tell the men the plan. Find what role suits who best. Out of us, Hector, Tad, and Keyhole are going to stay here. Pyronica, you and your guys will deal with the guards. The rest of us are storming the castle. Find 7 other people who’d be better off staying here, when everyone has their role i’ll explain what needs to be done more explicitly, until then, dismissed.” Bill removed the remaining pieces on the map and rolled the paper up as the others left the meeting.

 

“Please don't do anything stupid.” Tad said when he and Bill were the only ones left in the room. The blond Captain just broke out a grin as he walked with the brunet to the doors.

 

“Y’know me Tadsy, Stupid is my middle name.”

 

Bill stopped and rethought that statement in his mind, meanwhile the brunet was chuckling as he ducked out of the planning room. 

 

“THEODORE SQUARE STRANGE” was heard throughout the ship, followed by laughter from said square. They were probably going to die in a few days, but Tad was happy knowing he could still screw Bills auto-responses up.


	14. How to escape an engagement (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The engagement ball.

Most of Dipper's nights were spent in the solitary confinement of his rooms, gazing at the heavens through the jail bars of a windowpane, mourning his past freedoms.

His eyes, full of dolor, would flick from one constellation to the next, as if he were a drowning man struggling to reach the surface of the sea, only to be dragged back into the depths by reality.

He was to live as an object to ogle at. A circus animal. No, not something so expressive.

He'd be statue. The shape of himself but lacking a soul. He would be wearing a mask until he became it or slipped into insanity. He would think of how, in just a few months, he would be marring the man of his nightmares.

He would curse his future. He would think of how, in less than a year, he'd have to carry the child of the one who took his freedom, his life. He could never love them. He'd alienate his own husband and offspring.

Just by watching the freedom of the night sky, would slip him into depression and insanity. He would be dead to the world.

But not this night.

This night was meant for him to be inspected. Examined by a crowd.

He was nothing but a means to continue a bloodline, but his actions and appearance held high importance. He had to please the onlookers. He had to behave perfectly. Not a single gesture or word could be out of place.

Even a slight tone change to his voice, could spark the crowd's savage hunger for socially destroying those whom have more than them. They'd slowly kill his soul. He'd become a husk of himself and become a joke. A laughing stock.

But they justify it with claims of "protecting the future" or "caring for the crown". After all, one cannot mix the blood of a royal with the blood of a fool and still call the line eminent.

This night, Dipper would have to behave like the future queen he was soon to be. He would please all nobels that attempted to challenge him. Be it knowledge, poise, or beauty, he was prepped to perfection.

And this leads to Dipper currently having an internal panic attack right outside the ballroom doors...

No amount of preparation could stop the gut renching fear of failure he felt. But it was beyond too late to back out now. He'd have had to not met the Prince to get out of this. Oh well, tears later, poise now.

Dipper was playing arm candy for his fiancé and was dressed to the nines in glittering gold and deep royal blues. On his right ring finger sat his engagement ring. If you could even consider it a ring.

The band appeared more like finger armor and was drenched in humongous sapphires and diamonds. It definitely showed Dipper's new status, but it made him feel cheap.

The ring wasn't the only apperal that was covered in jewels. On Dipper's head layed a gold circlet with various sapphires and diamonds arranged to mock the appearance of a wreath of roses. It was stunning.

He also wore a beautiful floral embroidered gold and royal blue coat, which tails nearly reached his heals, and matching trousers.

He had delicate chantilly lace tucked around his wrists and at the bottom of his neck as a cravet. On the delicate cravet sat the crest of Dipper's family, the exact one Dipper wore for the masquerade. 

His vest matched his coat and trousers, and his shoes were made from the finest imported leather.

To say he looked like a king would be an understatement.

And Gideon had dressed even more extravagant and expensive. Emeralds, gold, diamonds, lace, imported silks, velvets, nothing that showed wealth was left out of the Prince's wardrobe for the evening.

He also wore his crown of course,  but with a few modifications. The amount of jewels had tripled and there was extra gold details added on just to put it over the top.

The moment the young couple walked through the doors all conversation ceased and all eyes shined in awe as they slowly made their way to greet the king and queen.

After the usual formalities, the couple was sent off to commune with the guests. It was no surprise that the first people to make contact were the elite of the aristocratic families. 

Quickly, Dipper and Gideon were swamped by a sea of old codgers and hags, desperately trying to up their status by holding council with a member of the royal family. One was so desperate for attention that he began an interigation on Dipper and his personal life.

"Sir Pines, you are the Pines family's sole male heir correct? We're you not supposed to take on the family corporation? How are you going to continue the company once you've married and crowned princess?"

"True, I am the only male child, but my twin sister is the heir. She was born before I was and has been groomed to continue our family company since we were children. Therefore, I will have no part in any transactions or deals made in the corporation's future. Those responsibilities fall upon the abilities of Viscountess Mabel Pines, or soon to be known as Marchioness Mabel Northwest."

"Both Pines twins are marrying, eh? And one to the Northwest family no less! That means bigger business! I hope both of you are happy, I know the economy will be!", another geezer added.

"Marriage is very important. You will be with you love till death and bring many heirs. I wish the best health to you, for your children and the future of the country.", an old hag boasted.

"Oh, that reminds me! Will you be carrying or will you be employing the help of a surrogate mother?" another crooned.

"You must carry! I've never met a surrogate mother that hasn't been intent on stealing away as much money as they could before and after the child was born. If you don't carry then it might as well just be a false marriage. It would be betrayal to the country!"

"No, I can assure you, they royal family has been intent on having me carry. They've been stressing the rule of having to be the one to produce two heirs in order to fulfil my duties to the crown."

"Well at least we can sleep soundly with the knowledge that the future heirs will be just as beautiful as their parents. You've got the most stunning eyes of anyone I've ever seen.", piped an old hag.

"Absolutely! I'm so happy that the crown could find such a magnificent future princess. Your completion and eye color are fantastic traits, they'll definitely be passed to your children!"

"Let's not forget your gentle personality. The heirs will definitely will be valiant and wise!"

'Gentle personality? This has got to be a fucking joke.', thought Dipper,' How much smoozing are they going to commit to before they realize that they'll get nothing out of it?'

For the next fourty minutes, Dipper fell into a tourent of questions and complements from old bats desperately trying to be relevant.

And then, someone had brought up the taboo topic. What happened to Dipper's parents.

That put a stop to any fake smiles that Dipper could make. He suddenly had the urge to bolt.

And of course, Gideon could sense his "true love's" unease and actually became a decent human beingfor once.

Finally, after leaving Dipper to fend for himself for nearly an hour, Gideon swooped in to save Dipper from the onslaught of curious guests and dragged him onto the dance floor. 

It was a slowwaltz, basic steps, yet it felt like the most complicated dance he'd ever done. They were being watched like prey. The crowd only looked at them.

One step, two step, three step, a spin.

One step, two step, three step.

One, two, three, twirl.

One. Two. Three. 

No matter how simple, the stress caused by the onlookers caused Dipper to feel ill. And Gideon shamelessly touch his butt ever so often, was making the task at hand fairly impossible. He wanted to punch Gideon and get  all of those judgemental eyes of him.

They tore into his soul, as if they were seeing all of his secrets and nightmares, and deciding on away to make them all come true at once.

One.Two. Three.

The eyes wouldn't blink.

One. Two. Three.

The guests viciously savage smiles grew.

One. Two. Three.

The murmurs turned into static.

One. Two. Three.

The room was darkening.

One.Two.Three.

The room was spinig. Faster and faster.

One.Two.Three.

He couldn't breath.

ONE.TWO.THREE.

ONE. TWO. THREE.

ONE. two. three. bow....

And the waltz was over, only to be followed by a deafining cacophony of applause.

Dipper was light headed and he felt ready to lose the contents of his stomach on the ballroom floor.Quickly, he excused himself from his fiancé to compose himself.

Under the scornful, disappointed eyes of the crowd, he made his escape into the castle gardens.

* * *

 Dashing as far away as he could get from the ballroom, he slowed his pace down and took a seat on a bench in the rose garden. 

He lossend his cravet and took off the infural circlet, which had been squeezing his head from the moment he had put it on.

Letting out a sigh, he turned his eyes to the stars. Sweeping the sky, he saw a falling star. He watched it slowly drift and, as everyone does, made a wish.

Now we all know it's bad luck to share a wish, so no one can tell you what the undemonstrative boy wished.

But one can infer that since fate has a funny way of answering desperation, it did in fact, come true. And it must have had to something to do with the rustle in the bushes behind our poor Dipper.

The seven words that rang out before his life changed forever, came from a rugged man holding a sword to his throat.

They were simple, yet haunting.

They came from a man intent on stealing away every coin in the castle and would end any who attempted to stop him.

They came from a pirate.

"Now look at what we've got here..."


	15. How to escape an engagement (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill to the "rescue".

Do you know the gut-wrenching feeling when you are walking down the stairs in the middle of the night, you anticipate one more step than there actually is, and take that imaginary step? Acid burns in your chest.The constricting fear as you plunge into the unknown. That was the exact feeling that occurred when the pirate held the ice-cold blade to Dipper's throat.

He felt his stomach drop. His skin crawled. The world froze for a few seconds. He didn't care to scream for help, or even breath for that matter. No matter how he analyzed the situation, he couldn't find a quick or safe escape.

He breathed in, content on negotiating for his life, and then, he saw them...

At least twenty guards, oozing crimson onto the cobblestone path. Their eyes glazed over and blank. Nearly all adorned a slice on their throats, exposing muscles and veins to the cool night air. 

Behind them stood eleven other pirates, all admiring their handywork with cheshire-like grins. Their rotten and gold teeth shinning in the fient moonlight. 

Eyes, glowing like beasts', slowly turned up towards the new captive that fate had handed them.

"I think we've just caught ourselves a precious blue bird boys!" the man holding the blade to Dipper's throat cheered.

That statement brought out a musical of dark chuckles and sinister laughs. The crowd of monsters raked their eyes over Dipper's body, taking note of all glints of gold and gems they'd take. 

A clever one noticed the massive engagement ring adorning Dipper's finger and made an accurate assumption of whom they held hostage.

"Looks like we've hit tha jackpot! You're the Prince fiancé! Oh, this will go very nicely."

 Suddenly, the weapon at Dipper's throat had dropped and his nimble captors had his arms pines to his mid-back. Not enough to hurt but definitely not ment to be comfortable.

After a quick pat-down, Dipper hand been relieved of his circlet, rings, crest, and cravet, leaving his neck and a small part of his chest exposed to the chill of the night's air. He was jerked to the side and told to walk or face an injury.

Dipper was stupidly stubborn for a moment and for that, he recived a slap hard enough to split his lip and harshly bruise his cheek.

Noticing more and more guards bleeding out around him, he made a bold choice. Breaking the pirates grip, he head-butted the man and made a run for it.

He managed to climb through five rows of rose bushes, gaining multiple gashes along the way, before he ran right into the chest of someone.

This someone just so happened to have the devil's eyes and a serpents smile. He wore a long gold coat and had expensive weapons straped all across his body. Dipper knew his face, anyone who lived in a port town would.

'Capitan William "Bill" Cipher: wanted for the crimes of piracy, high treason, theft, destruction of public property, and murder.'

Before Dipper could blink, he was slammed to the ground by someone behind him. He looked up at the monster before him with loathing and hardly masked fear. 

'This is it. I'm going to be murdered by pirates.' he thought.

He was pulled up to his feet and a knife was put to his cheek, drawing a line of blood that quickly began slipping down to his chin and neck.

After all of his persuers had gathered, the devil of the seven seas began his orders.

"Pyro take those three and finish off the rest of the guards. You seven round up the party goers. You three watch the kid and fallow me." the monster cheered.

The kife that had sliced his cheek was replaced with a steel falchion and placed at his collar bone, with a little pressure to remind him that the weapon could kill him in a split second.

"I presume that you're Viscount Matthew Pines, correct. And don't lie, I won't hesitate to order them to kill you." the beast stated.

"Yes. I am Matthew Pines."

"Splendid! Oh boy, your future hubby is not going to be happy about this." he purred.

 Slowly they made their way to the front entrance of the ballroom. For outside, Dipper could hear screaming and gunshots. It sounded like chaos. Bill made a grand entrance as soon as the noise died down. He  told the men restraining Dipper to stay put until he gave a signal.

* * *

 

Dipper could barely make out what Bill was saying but he could tell that he was talking to Gideon. When he heard something close to "... Why the hell would I do that?" from Gideon.

Bill chuckled and clearly shouted, "For this!", and with a snap of his fingers the doors opened and Dipper was dragged, front and center, with the falchion pressed right on his Adam's apple. 

 Dipper made eye contact with Gideon pleading silently for help. And Dipper must've looked like hell covered in cuts, bruises, dirt, and blood. And Gideon's eyes turned murderous at the sight of his bleeding cheek.

"Now, Gideon. I'll say this once more and you will do it, or your little love bird here will pay the price. Give us ALL of your gold and jewelry. You don't want anyone to get hurt do you?"

"You fucking bastard!" Gideon shouted.

Somehow, the sword on Dipper's throat was pushed even closer and both of his arms were seized so he couldn't struggle, leaving a small nick on his neck.

"Uh, uh, uh, that's not how you respond to an order Gideon. Now do it or the brat gets it!"

Dipper felt tears tracking down his face, it was getting hard to breath. Was- was he shaking? He was to light headed to notice at first but now he could actually die! He had to get out of this situation. But how? They just want the money and jewelry, that's it nothing else. Why won't Gideon give it to them?!

"G-gideon, p-please," his voice shook," just give them what they want." He let out a choked sob as the blade drew a little more blood.

Gideon looked absolutely savage. Eyes filled with slaughterous intent. He let out a growl.

"Times ticking, princey. What's it gonna be?" Bill said with a vicious, psychotic smile.

"Give them your money and jewels", Gideon ordered the crowd.

A murmur of discontent rang around the room but slowly necklaces and rings were removed and handed over to the pirates.

Gideon even took of his crown and handed it to Bill with no protest, worry filling his eyes as his gaze met Dipper's.

Dipper had controlled his breathing and stopped crying, but was still shaking like a leaf. He did not look okay.

Once everything was gathered, Bill grabbed the back of Dipper's neck and held his rapier to to the exact spot where there were cysts already.

"It has been a lovely evening, ladies and gentlemen but I must bid you farewell." Bill laughed backing himself and Dipper towards door. 

"Wait! What are you doing! Let him go!", Gideon screamed.

"Oh, this?", Bill gestured to Dipper with the sword, "I think I'll be keeping him for a little while." And with that Dipper was thrown over Bill's shoulder and rushed out the door.

"NO!"

"Gideon! Help me!"

Bill ignored the cries from Dipper, and threw the brunet at one of the new crew they had picked up. 

“Thanks for having us!” Bill exclaims and left with the rest of the pirate mass.  

* * *

 

Dipper was most definitely not freaking out.

Nope not all. 

He was full on panicking as a man threw him on to the splintering wood of a ship.  Dipper didn’t know and couldn’t recognize when he was being dragged to it.

He could hear the amount of bustling going on around him but couldn’t move his head to see what the people were doing nor could he make out anything said.

Not even from the man shouting loudly at everyone, or maybe one person who was shouting back.

* * *

 

“How could you not think ahead?!” Tad was beyond furious. They had the finacee of the prince on the deck, probably injured, and Bill hadn’t bothered to think of what to do with him beyond using him to get what they wanted and apparently one of the crew had dragged the kid aboard.

“I-” Tad didn’t bother letting Bill get a word in, knowing it would be pointless to listen to the blond try to defend himself.

“We have a motherfucking royal prisoner on deck! Have you any idea how big of a target you put on our backs?” Tad exclaimed, glaring at the blond,  “Not only are we now running from the navy after robbing the palace, we are running from the royal family for kidnapping their future son in law!"

“It’s not my fault, some idiot crew member dragged him aboard. We can let those assholes deal with it or, you know, sell him off as a slave like we do all the other prisoners we encounter?” Bill shouted right back waving his arms around, probably hitting a couple of the crew members who were rushing past.

“We are not selling him! You are not handing him over to the crew. You are going to take care of him until we figure out what to do. And That’s Final!” Tad exclaims, shoving Bill towards the downed brunet before backing up and hobbling away with his cane.

Bill grumbled but headed towards the Viscount.

* * *

 

Dipper could definitely see blood pooling around him. 

He couldn’t tell where it was coming from, but he couldn’t really feel his chest or head and everything was blurry and the sound was getting distorted as time went on. 

He could feel everyone running around around him through the vibration of the deck, but he could see a pair of boots stop by his head. 

“Gr… …. Ood… fu… eed….” whoever it was, their voice was going in and out and Dipper couldn’t make out any words.

Dipper felt hands around him and his head lolled to get a glimpse of a man with a triangle eyepatch over one eye, blonde hair half covering the other bright yellow eye with heavenly tanned skin. He then fell unconscious.

* * *

“Tad! He passed out!” Bill yelled as he held the bloody unconscious brunet. “And is bleeding!” Bill added as a sort of after thought.

“So take him to Kryptos!” Tad shouted back before going back to organizing the crew.

“Right, why didn’t I think of that?” Bill muttered and half carried-half dragged the kid down to Kryptos who was almost at full capacity, sending others out with minor injuries or with bandages to help themselves. “Kryppy! I need help.” Bill called across the room.

“So does half the crew wait you’re-who the holy fuck is that and what the fuck happened? Bill! What did you do?” Kryptos accused, sounding extremely angry with Bill.

“Nothing! I found him like this. Also can you take care of him? I have to find someone to get bloodstains out of the deck.” Bill asked, more or less dumping the brunet on the shorter man before getting back above deck.

* * *

 

“Bill you’re suppose to be looking after the kid.” Tad stated as Bill came up beside him.

“Kryptos is taking care of him, he got injured.” Bill said, looking around at the bustling crew.

“He’s been with you less than an hour and he’s injured enough to need to see Kryptos?” Tad really shouldn’t be surprised that the kid was already that injured, he had honestly hoped for more from Bill, but he didn’t expect it.

“He’s been with you less than an hour and he’s injured enough to need to see Kryptos?!” Tad really shouldn’t be surprised that the kid was already that injured, he had honestly hoped for more from Bill, but he didn’t expect it.

“Hey, he was injured when I got to him on the deck, it was not my fault.”  Bill was not up to defending himself from his best friend, “I’m going to nap before I get permanent babysitter duties.” Bill muttered, turning around and wandering to his cabin.

"WILLIAM GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" his friend screamed as the cabin door locked behind him.

 


	17. NOT AN UPDATE

So I just realised that Ash's account got changed to the Orphan Account, so I figured I might as well make a note to explain a few things. I don't know what happened with Ash, she hasn't contacted me since April and I haven't gotten a response back since then, despite trying to get her attention because she hasn't been on her phone for a while (which kik tells you) so kinda worried about her since I haven't gotten a response on Tumblr either. I don't know how the orphan system works, if the author abandons it to the orphan account or if it automatically does it if you haven't been on in a while (if someone could clarify it'd be nice), but I don't know what to do with this since I am still an author so I get notified of comments and kudos and everything but I mainly just wrote when Ash was too busy or helped her with ideas. Also if anyone knows what happened to her, or if she chooses to look at this I'd like to know if Ash is still alive, just a real possibility I have been trying to ignore.

Anyway, sorry, but yeah I don't think I will update this since I have no clue what to do with it really, I got part way through the next chapter before I hit writers block and I have no idea what to do and can't contact Ash for help and this is getting rambly so to recap, can't contact the other/original author, don't know how the orphan system works, so so sorry but i don't think this will be updated, it might if I can figure out what the fuck they're gonna do with dipper, but don't get your hopes up, unless you wanna start suggesting things in which go nuts, it might help. So Deeply sorry, but my worry over Ash not responding at all made it really hard to write.

EDIT: i ran through my emails and found Ashes Pseud on here (Ashes101) and hopefully it's her, since y'know more than one person can have the same pseud and it appears they've been active in the past few days so hopefully it's her and she's just decided to abandon the work without notifying me at all.


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